The Wednesday Funnies...

Hey y'all!

I saw this on Facebook, shared on my page and I had to post for the funnies...

Funny but True...

moving right along...

 It’s been almost a year since I started the journey. I really don’t know what to think about it sometimes. It doesn't really register in my mind what has actually transpired, it all feels like a dream. The things I have seen and emotions felt scare me. 

I learned so much about people and those that I thought were my friends. It really is sad just how selfish some can be. I won’t be rude and call out names on here, that will solve nothing short of hurt feelings. I’m not about causing someone pain. I've done it before and all I did was create more grief for myself in the end. I have people who are mad or disgruntled with me because I filed for the divorce, people who are mad because I did what I thought I needed to do, because I was selfish. There are others out there that got mad and laid blame on me for failed friendships, I didn't do anything… I just refuse to be told what I can and can’t do, who I can and can’t talk to, etc. I also learned that men and women can’t have close friendships without someone having “feelings” or getting hurt.  Selfish people.  Men don’t think and women can be just as bad. This woman talks to that woman, she doesn't like you because you dated her baby sister’s best friend’s ex-boyfriend 10 years ago… or you are friends with that girl and they don’t like her for no good reason... Really? I am 35 years old and I have never in my life seen such childish shenanigans, even in High School it wasn't this bad. I will admit I have played the main role in some of the drama in my life, that is my demon to deal with... but some of the things that I witnessed beats all.

I blame it all on social media… people are too meddlesome and thrive on public drama. It breeds hatred. I have heard it said “you hate what you fear the most”. I almost refuse to post a picture of myself with anyone other than my kids or the ex-husband, and that even scares me sometimes, simply for the fact that I will get 21 questions before the day is out… Oh are you friends with that girl? Are you and that guy seeing each other? I can’t begin to tell you how many times I was asked if I was seeing someone just because I posted “have a nice day” on their Facebook timeline. And it wasn't even by the person being nosy… this one asked that one, who asked that one, who brought it up to me. Oh and be careful who you tell your secrets to… just a thought. This is the south, women love to gossip. If you aren't the topic of conversation today, you will be tomorrow when she tells everyone what she heard you did… truth or not.

I have removed a number of people from my life in the last year, but on the other hand I gained a few as well as renewed old friendships. I am thankful for the relationships I've had, it has taught me what I do and what I don’t want in my life. What I don’t want… friends that only have time for me when it is convenient for them. I have a bad habit of sending a text or calling someone if I haven’t heard from them in a while just to say hi, but now… If you are not willing to make the effort to start the conversation from time to time, why should I? Not that I love you any less, you just don’t have time so I won’t waste any of it. I don’t want anyone to try and tell me who I can and can’t be friends with. I like that person, I think they are nice… sorry if you don’t like them, I just won’t make plans with you and them at the same time. No one has a right to tell you who your friends can and can’t be. For that one reason right there… I lost a friend that I’ve had since I was 18 years old. I hate it, but on the other hand, it’s my life. Lastly… I don’t want anyone in my life that I don’t feel like I can trust. I've been hurt pretty bad, my trust and faith in some people has been broken. When I tell you I’m your friend and I give you a piece of my heart, be careful with it. One of my biggest flaws is I see the good in everyone. I trust too easily. I learned this year that people are not who they say they are and most people don’t have your best interest at heart. I think that is the one thing that bothers me the most.  It literally hurts in my chest to know that there are some people that could care less that they hurt other people. I’m not saying “don’t break my heart”, I know that will happen from time to time… just when you do, when you decide to let me down, be considerate and be honest. I’d rather be hurt with the truth than comforted with lies. 

It is a cruel world out there. It’s scary, full of hatred and greed…  I just don’t understand why the world is like that. Too many people are not satisfied with what they have. Their life isn't perfect so they will do what they can to make others miserable. I’m happy and I love life. I love the people around me and I genuinely believe that everyone has a good heart, but no matter what you do or how much you try to make everyone happy, you just can’t... All you can do is let your light shine and pray that someone sees it. This world will never be a perfect place, there will always be someone that will try to throw rocks at you. Learn to hold your head high and smile… even if you’re breaking on the inside. I truly believe that if you live it, you will learn it, then you will be it... 

The Wednesday Funnies... on Friday

Sorry ladies and gentlemen. I was down and out on Wednesday so I didn't get a chance to do the funnies for you... and they yesterday was a whole 'notha story for you, but we'll get to that at a later date.

So since I'm too lazy to just come up with something randomly witty, I'll share with you once again my favorite youtube video of all time.

Smile and be happy!

funny... while I was uploading this one I found another I had not seen in a while... enjoy!

It’s my turn…

Yes, I said it. It’s my turn, my turn to live my life. I’m sure that anyone will say “Oh Rosie, you have been this last few months since your divorce.” Seriously…? After years of doing what everyone said I should do, trying to make everyone else happy around me, all I get is a couple of months to be selfish and live life the way I want to? Or was that what I really wanted...

As most of you know the divorce was final back in March. At the time that the divorce became final, my landlord decided that because I wouldn’t enter into some sort of kinky ass relationship with him he would sell the house I was living in, forcing me to find another place to hang my coat. Which led me to moving in with my parents... I could barely contain my excitement. Not that I didn’t want to live with them, but there was nothing available within my budget to rent that would be a good environment for my children. I lived with my parent up until about a month ago. Somewhat doing my own thing, but still trying to make it a point to keep everyone happy… except me. Oh yeah, I’ve gone out and hung out with people. I’ve done my part to keep the local watering holes in business, dated a douche bag or two. All the while putting on a show and trying to please a multitude of people in effort to make sure that ‘people like me’. Added with the never ending… ‘this is what you should do with your life.’

So what exactly is it that I’m supposed to do with my life now? Last month I decided to give it another shot with my ex-husband in an effort to try an salvage what was left of my broken relationship and failed marriage. Yes I still love him, I never stopped. My children are happy and seem adjusted to the situation. #2 is sleeping better at night even though her wild imagination and her curiosity keep her away till nearly 10:00 at night. #1 falls asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow and is completely unconscious to the world around her, better than the once a week nightmares. I on the other hand am not sleeping, not that I have in the last 6 years, but it seems like it is worse now these days. Not sure if it is getting adjusted to my old/new environment or if it is something deeper. I’m still plagued with nightmares and flashbacks of my wreck in July and the scenarios played in my head of what could have happened. Not to mention the constant replay of things that could have gone wrong when I spent two days in a boat in the swamp of south Louisiana… thank ‘you’ for the constant nightmares. Much appreciated. Back to what I was saying… what now? I’m back in my happy little home with my two kids, my now ex-husband whom we will now refer to as ‘sin partner’, and the all loving cat Mustache. Things are starting to be getting back on track, or so I think. We have made a few changes to the house, rearranging furniture and throwing away anything that we just don’t need. Thank you to my friend Tammy, I no longer have a tanning bed at the house (so glad to see that gone). We’ve started making plans for social gatherings with the new friends I’ve made as well as friends we socialized with prior to the divorce. But seriously… now what?!? Am I supposed to just pick up where everything left off? Is this supposed to feel like a new relationship? I really don’t know.

Yesterday ‘sin partner’ and I made a public announcement that we are now in “a relationship” with each other on the drama network a.k.a Facebook. That’s when it hit me. This is real. This is where it all starts. This is the point where everyone will be looking at me and watching to see if we screw it up again. Such a horrible feeling to think that now I’m being watched for every little mistake, possibly being judged… people talking behind my back saying ‘oh she’s just using him cause she couldn’t make it on her own’ and yes I have already heard that so I’m not being paranoid. Thank you very much.

So with that in mind… yes it’s my turn, it always has been, it always will be… I’m not being selfish, I’m being the giving person I’ve been my whole life and doing something to make everyone else happy, and in turn that makes me happy. Sometimes I doubt myself, who doesn’t, but knowing that my children are sleeping in the same bed every night rather than being flip flopped from house to house each week is worth it to me. Knowing that I have a safe and secure place to lay my head every night is worth it. Knowing that I have put a smile on ‘sin partners’ face because he has his family is worth it.  My personal image, knowing that I am being the ‘wife’, mother and caretaker that I had always dreamed about is worth it. When is it my turn? My turn is now, in this moment. It’s my turn to do what God planned for me to do all along… take care of my family. 

The Wednesday Funnies

THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, opportunities for advancement will pass right by you.


Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.


Lesson 4:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


Lesson 6:

A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and shit on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!


THIS CONCLUDES THE 5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

The Wednesday Funnies...

Tips for Northerners moving South.... pay attention, this is real important y'all

1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.

2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba". You have a 75% chance of being right.

3. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

4. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

5. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.

6. Do not buy food at the movie store.

7. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.

8. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.

9. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent, unless it is a southerner imitating a Boston accent.

10. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

11. People walk slower here.

12. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.

13. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'," as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy".. Eighty-five percent begin their new southern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.

14. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

15. Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid here.

16. If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.

17. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.

18. Most Southerners do not use turn signals, and they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.

19. Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.

20. The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November.

21. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you're supposed to do. Shopping list always includes milk, bread and eggs.

22. Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one it is to be positioned directly in front of your trailer. This is logical bearing in mind that the dish cost considerabley more than the trailer and should, therefore, be displayed.

23. In southern churches you will hear the hymn, "All Glory, Laud and Honor". You will also hear expressions such as, "Laud, have mercy," "Good Laud," and "Laudy, Laudy, Laudy."

24. As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for the vehicle.

25. You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.

It's all in my head...

I like most people have fears... I'm not sure if it's completely normal for me to have some the fears that I do. Most of them are normal things that any person can deal with on a day to day basis. Some of them however I think  are almost too dark for anyone to comprehend. They may seem like normal fears to any outsider, but if you knew the grip they had on my mind you would understand me better.

Lets begin...

I've never really admitted this to anyone till now, but yes... I'm afraid to go to sleep at night. I've discussed my insomnia with a few people, most of my friends know that I wake up several times during the night. The part that you don't know is that I usually wake up from some horrifying nightmare that can only be found in the writings of Dean Koontz or Stephen King. Crippling nightmares to the point I can't move. At least two to three days a week I wake up in some sort of panic, crying with silent screams that make me lose my breath... only because I'm trying to wake myself up. I've tried over the years to write them down or use some dream dictionary to explain why I'm having these nightmares hoping that I might be able to control them. Sometimes I will wake up and sit straight up in bed, mostly because the dream wasn't that intense. I'm sure it's because I'm aware that I have my daughter in the bed with me and I know I'm not alone. I blogged a few times a couple of years ago about what I actually was dreaming about, that didn't help either. I've tried over the last year a couple of different things to help me sleep as well... no help at all. Last time I took something to help me sleep something pulled me out of the bed by my feet. When I woke up I was half way under the bed. I have been known to sleep with the lights on because I know I'm awake when I see the light.

I have no problem with being in a pool unless my kids are with me, that's normal for anyone to be nervous. And usually I can get in a boat in the daytime on the lake and handle myself fairly well, but if it's dark you can almost bet I will panic. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been on a boat in the last 10 years. There is no particular incident that created the fear, but in my own mind I make it worse over the years. It's an evil place in there sometimes. Even right now trying to find the words to explain what happens and what exactly I fear is making me anxious. So here we go.... I'm not afraid of drowning, I can swim very well. It's not snakes, fish, or anything like that either. I'm scared of what I don't know about. Falling out of the boat and being pulled under by something that doesn't exist. Not being able to rescue myself or that whoever I'm with won't be able to help me. I'm afraid of being lost in the unknown. Where is the bottom? Why can't I put my feet down? What if some current or something even more deadly takes me down to the deep unknown and I can't free myself. This is my own personal hell. I've been in the water at night 4 times in my lifetime... I want to overcome that fear. I want to know and be certain that there is nothing to be this terrified of. And don't get me started on things in the water, like abandoned boats, down trees, spillways in a dam.... One of our lakes has a rather large spillway, scared to death of it.

I know this is another point leading to water, but let me explain. First thing is first... bridges. There are some bridges that don't phase me at all. I have no problem going over Lake Pontchartrain, I don't have a major issue with the Mississippi River Bridge if I'm not driving. However, there are a few out there, I'm sure it's the way they are built that completely make me aware that there is something bigger than me. If you want a reference to what really upset's me... Bowstring Arch Bridges. Maybe it has something to do with my fear of water? I'm not really so sure. Tunnels however, yes. I refuse to watch Daylight with Sylvester Stallone. that is my fear of a tunnel... being trapped... in water. What if I'm trapped there and I never get out, what if I drown in the dark?

Are you noticing a trend yet? I'm 35 years old and I'm scared of the dark. Kind of a hard thing for me to admit. Yes, I'm scared of wasp, and being in confined spaces... I can't walk in a room unless I turn on the lights. I'm scared of heights, most people are. I know all of my major fears are tied together, mostly stemming from my nightmares. I have flashbacks of things that have never happened in real life, so I'm sure my subconscious has stored it there. That's the thing that grips my mind when I'm put in one of the situations I fear. I instantly relive my nightmares.

I'm scared of the unknown, I'm scared of my own dreams,  but mostly scared of being alone because when I'm alone... that is when my fears attack me the most.

today is the day...

I can't even contain the excitement! Either that or I've ingested too much coffee and sunshine... whatever it is, I like it!

Today is the day that my life starts to get back on track... if all goes according to plan I will have a car once again. Yeah, Rosie has been without a ride for a month now. Remember what I said about an unfortunate incident back on July 1st? Well... it goes a little something like this... I totaled out the car that the now ex-hubby bought me last year. I won't give out all the details, those who know me close know what happen. Let's just say I learned a very valuable lesson in life that day.

So at lunch today I will go to the dealership, pick up my new car, go to the bank etc. I have my fingers crossed that everything will work out like it should. I was supposed to have the car yesterday but there was one small set back. On track today.

On top of all that I think I might actually be happy... seriously. I had my little pitty party this past week, had a really good cry last night, somehow managed to cry in my sleep (how odd is that) and woke up today with a feeling of complete peace.

Today is the day... today is MY day. I'm smiling, I feel beautiful.

The Wednesday Funnies...

Yes, it's back. Your weekly dose of laughter brought to you by Rosie herself. I know you can't possibly contain all your excitement, feel free to laugh a little... it's ok. Clicking around on www.stumbleupon.com I found this cute little number I had to share. Enjoy! It is Wednesday right?

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
    "DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
    "What?"
    "Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

Really? Seriously...

I have been told many times that 'the fate of any relationship depends on the person who cares the least'. It's something that I have learned over the last couple of years, a hard lesson at that.

“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” ~ Anthony Robbins

Give and take, that's what it really is all about. You have to be willing to give more than you take. If you don't it will never work. Like I said before, I think I give too much sometimes. It definitely hurts sometimes. I see this too often with people that I think are my friends. I will always speak I will always do my best to leave a smile where ever I go. I always try to include everyone in my life, but sometimes it seems that I get left out. Not sure why that is. Maybe those people aren't really my friends after all? Recent events in my life have really shown me who actually has my back and who doesn't. I'm thankful for the people I have in my life. Please don't think I'm complaining about it or trying to have a 'pitty party', it's not like that at all. Yeah it sucks, but in all honesty.... I'm glad that it has happened like that.

I won't be the person that cares the least... I will always be the one that will text or call if I haven't heard from you in a couple of days. Don't assume that I think or know if you are mad at me, I'm not a mind reader. If there is a problem, talk to me about it... don't let it fester like a wound until you can't take it anymore. Tell people how you really feel, tell them what's on your mind. I've learned that if you keep your feelings packed up in a box, no one will even know it's there to unpack. Open the box. And make sure if you do walk away from a relationship, friends or otherwise... you leave that person knowing that it was ok for it to be the way it is. I have so many unanswered questions right now it has literally made me sick.

It is what it is...

Believe it or not, over the last several weeks I’ve been debating about this particular post. Not sure if the real world was ready for it or not.

I HATE DATING

I can’t stress that enough. I have had the attention of a few members of the opposite sex since my divorce, obviously none of them have been successful. I won’t go into detail on every “relationship” however I will tell you that dating in itself is a train wreck waiting to happen. Especially with me.

I don’t know, I’ve always been taught to give everything I’ve got, in love, life and friendship. So that’s what I do. I don’t know if that scares people away or if I’m just being too pushy, I’m really not sure. I always feel that you should give 100% in everything you do. I don’t really understand why people don’t do the same. I always enter a relationship (friends, dating, coworkers etc.) and give my full attention. I think it is only fair to the other person to let them know that you are willing to make an effort to give it all you have.

Which leads me to my next point… Why don’t people do the same? Why do some people half-ass try at something and then give up when the situation gets hard. I was involved with someone I cared a lot about, I guess you could say my first real relationship since my divorce, yes there was one before but he was obviously a rebound and his personal issues really did cause us major problems.Anyway… Back to my story… I felt like he started to push me away. I may be completely wrong about the issue but that is what I read into it. I’m sure a lot of it had to do with my insecurities. Yes, I had a bad marriage, yes there was trust and faith lost, yes… I’m damaged because of it. So with that in mind, I’m the kind of girl that needs a little reassurance now and then that I’m where I’m supposed to be. I don’t think that is too much to ask right? I didn’t think so. Nothing against him at all, he is a really nice man but in the end, obviously I wasn’t what he wanted and the same goes for me. I did enjoy the time we had together and maybe I tried too hard to make it work. My mistake, but as I said before… I always give 100%. Sometimes it’s too much.

Lesson learned I guess….

I’m sure it will be a while before I try again. I’ve got to work on “me” right now and that will take time. I don’t want any help, nor will I ask for it. But it would be nice to have someone to talk to now and then. It’s a lonely world out there. 

When all else fails... try again

“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.” ~ Mary Anne Radmacher

So here we are, just four months past the time of my divorce and eight months since we separated. It seems so much longer than it actually is. I have moved on with my life, there have been a few bumps and bruises along the way to reconnecting with the person I used to be.

Everyone has told me to reinvent myself, but the way I see it... the girl or should I say woman I was before he and I got married was ok with me. I was hard working, most of the time I held down two or three jobs. I was accepting and trusting of everyone that crossed my path. I sang like a fool and played my guitar the best I could. I smoked way too much, didn't drink very often. Since the divorce was final I've drank too much, smoked too much, and I hate to admit it... I haven't sang much at all or played any music. It's almost like I don't know where to begin anymore. Yeah, singing in the car and the shower don't count. I have attended Karaoke a couple of times, but all I ever did was sing a little Janice Joplin to show out and prove a point. Those of you that know me know I love to sing, through the house, to my children, and any chance I get for any random stranger. I started to sing to my precious girls again.

On July 1, 2012 however, I had a major life changing incident that completely opened my eyes. I realized I was going down a dangerous path that if I kept on like I was I would never be able to come back. I'm trying to get back on track. I've failed one time since then and the day after... yes the day after, hangover and all... I got out and I ran. I ran till my heart hurt (not in the physical going to the hospital sense) and I cried, and it wasn't that cute girly cry either... Oh yeah I was ugly, but it was one of the most cleansing things I've ever done. I talked to God while I was out there. First I begged him not to let me pass out and die right there on the pavement, then asked for a chance to get it straight. Lead me in the right direction. I hit the ground on my knees that day. Since then I've been listening. One step at a time, one day at time, one foot in front of the other... I can do this. I'm not saying that I'm going to be a big huge marathon runner, but I actually feel like I have accomplished something empowering after I finish. I did it, no one helped me, I did it on my own. Baby steps...

I have a few other things in my pocket that I'm working on, I'll fill you in at a later date of how it is going. Right now, it's all about my girls and I getting it back together. Time to act like an adult and learn from my mistakes, rather than running from them. I've removed some "bad influences" from my life as a start. I know who has my best interest at heart and I'm leaning on those for support. Sometimes it takes getting to your lowest point to find out who is really your friend or someone that wants a hand out. Your real friends are few and far between. I'm very thankful for the few that were there to help pick me up when I fell down.

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” ~ August Wilson

Sorry it took so long...

Yes I've been gone for a while, dealing with personal stuff with the divorce and all. Give me time, I still may not post like I should but I'm going to try and do better these days.

The divorce is almost final.. we go to court on March 19th to have to judge sign the papers then it is over. I don't know if I should be relieved or not.

I've made an effort to try and move on with my life. Trying to make new friends that don't know "us" has been a struggle for me. I'm not sure if it is because I have my wall up so high or not. However, I am trying and that is the important part. I've reconnected with old friends and that has been such a help to me as well. I had forgotten about some of the people in my past that truely have my best interest at heart.

I'm learning a lot of new things here lately. Especially how to really love myself. It's been a hard battle with the depression. I go back to my Dr. in a couple of weeks to adjust my medication again, but for the most part I'm dealing well with it better than I was before. Learning to love myself though... it's tough. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am an amazing person, I am a beautiful creature, I am worth being happy and loved.

I went on a short rampage of going to bars and drinking, acting wild and crazy, but at the same time learning that I don't want to live that kind of life. I wasn't happy doing that at all. So now I have decided to bury myself in every book I can find. From my Bible to my latest purchase "The Hunger Games", which I have heard is excellent. I'm making a point to do more activities with the girls. We've spent time at the local frozen yogurt shop and playing on the playground. I've also found peace just spending time with my parents. They have been a rock for me throughout this whole situation.

So for now, keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I am going to be ok, I know it. it just takes time to learn to live again.

The Wednesday Funnies

Today was the day...

Today I took the giant leap forward into the rest of my life. I signed the papers.

Not exactly sure what I am feeling right now. Between the nausea and the anxiety, I can't describe it. Hell I can barely even type it. Just know that I think I will be ok.

I know time heals all wounds and at some point in time I will learn that this was for the best for both of us even though I really don't feel like it right now.

Can I say I'm scared to death?

I will update more Monday after he signs the papers to let you know how I feel.

Finding New Friends Weekend Blog Hop - Week 43

Welcome back to week 43 of Finding New Friends Weekend Blog Hop hosted by Shelly from My Saving Game, Sam from Have Sippy Will Travel and Jeannette from The Adventures of J-Man and MillerBug! Thank you all for helping make this hop so successful! We love you tons! Now what are you waiting for? Let’s get to hopping! We are finding some fabulous blogs through this hop and having a great time getting to know so many of you! So thank you for linking up again this week to those of you who are hop veterans and welcome to those who are new! Let’s continue to make new bloggy friends and increase our traffic! We do have a few simple rules for you – nothing too tough though. So here we go!
1. Please follow your hostesses My Saving Game, Have Sippy Will Travel and The Advetures of J-Man and MillerBug on one of our social media platforms.Leave us a comment and we will follow you back! (This includes Google +, Facebook or Twitter.)
2. Follow our Guest Host who this weeks is Nikki from Peace, Love and Purses.
3. You don’t have to post our button but we sure would like it if you did. Not only does it help our hop grow so we can all get new followers, but each week we will choose a guest co-host and to be considered you must have our button somewhere on your site! If you post our button and want to be considered for guest co-host, please email me at http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=1817464066393288406 to express your interest.
4. You can link up blogs, facebook, twitter accounts, whatever - just be sure to specify what each link is.
5. Hop around and find blogs that you enjoy. Be sure to tell them you are following them from Finding New Friends Weekend Blog Hop so they can follow you back!
6. Have fun!

don't get on my last nerve... again

Small towns and rumors and drama...

yep...

living in a small town you get a little too close to people, closer than you really want to. I'm sure that if you live in a big city you really don't have to run into people or talk to anyone unless you really want to. But in a small town like this... you really can't help it.There are only a few places to really "go out" so you see the dreaded ex friend that wants to "talk" , or there is that one chick that no matter how far you go out of your way to be nice, she still has her nose in the air when your in the same group of people, classy. Meaning go out... like dinner or even for drinks. It doesn't matter...  its everywhere....

I am a social person by nature. I love to get dressed up, get out of the house, dance and have a good time. Going through the divorce right now however I can't do that. Heck I can't even go to Wal-Mart without someone running their mouth that I was out partying it up... yeah, in Wal-Mart. I guess I should have gotten my picture taken for http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/ so that I could show off just how fancy I got dressed up to buy milk and tampons.

I freaking hate drama and right now my life is full of it. I mean when I say full its full. I'm hearing things about me that I didn't even know I did. Another reason I hate this small town, but alas with joint custody and the fact that I actually want my kids to see their father on a regular basis, I can't move. I know that regardless of where I live though there will always be some sort of drama.

The place I live is very click'ish. I know you only see clicks in high school, but honestly... Meridian, MS is just like high school, no matter what age you are. Maybe it's because everyone knows every ones business? I don't know, and at this point I really don't care.

Like I said earlier about going out... that is one reason the Hubs and I stayed home or would go to a friends house. There is this group over here and that group over there and its almost like you have to get approval from everyone in the group to be able to hang out. Seriously. You could know two or three people but if there is someone there that has been hanging around longer and they don't like you... hang it up. Sound familiar Meridian High School class of 1995...Isn't that a click? So if you don't meet the standards of all in the group or at least the "group leader" then there is drama to follow... I know we say we are too old for high school click drama but honestly... these are adults acting like children. If you don't like me, say so I don't need your approval. But even hanging out with a small group of friends there is always going to be that one person that has to keep the pot stirred up all the time no matter what is going on. Do people thrive on this shit or what?!?

Drama in a small town is ridiculous... there are so many rumors flying around about me it's not even funny. And most of the crap comes from when I was like 25 years old. Yep... just because I supposedly did it then (which I didn't) does NOT mean I'm going to do it now (never going to happen). Hint of advise for you young ladies out there... never take a job in a bar unless you are emotionally strong enough to let the rumors and drama roll off your back... just saying.

So really... my topics fall together... I just don't like rumors and drama and most of it comes from the fact that I live in a small town. So how do you avoid all that? You can't.. I've tried. We tried staying home, didn't work. We tried deleting facebook, that really didn't work either. Facebook is a world full of drama just saying and its like a black hole that sucks you in. Seriously stay away if you can... also known as Crackbook.

The Wednesday Funnies...

In light of the State of the Union address... here is something for you to use next year... Happy Wednesday Y'all!

Can I get a break?

It seems like literally everything in the last week has gone completely wrong in some form or fashion for me. With the constant divorce drama at home I don’t know which way to turn, right or wrong?

I had hoped that this divorce thing would go quickly now that we came to an agreement, but it seems as though it’s just getting worse. Now we are actually considering reconciling but to do that I’ve got to prove myself worthy… really? Either you want to be with me or not!

I really just don’t know what to do.

I love my husband completely and with all my heart. The last thing I envisioned when we got married is that eight years down the road we would be in this position. I didn’t get married to get a divorce. So I stand here begging him to reconsider and keep our family together, and he is brow beating me with a list of “done me wrongs” that I don’t have all the answers for. Yes, I screwed up… but you ain’t no Saint either honey. We both messed up and we both have to take responsibility for our actions. It almost kills me that he blames his faults all on me. I admit that I blame him for some of the things he has done wrong as well, but in all honesty… He did what he did because I didn’t do what I was supposed to do and the other way around.

What do I do?

I know that if I don’t give it a chance, if I don’t try I will always wonder “what it”, but on the other hand I don’t want to be back in the same position two or three years later down the road. I’m as confused as a bald man with a hair dryer. What am I doing? Are he and I ever going to reach a point if we reconcile that we will get to a point where we will get along? Will I ever stop having to prove myself to him? Will I stop feeling like he’s always hiding something from me? There are so many questions I have and I want the answers yesterday.

don't get on my last nerve...

You know what really gets on my last nerve... text messages.

Yep...

If I send you a text, please take a minute of your time sometime during the day and text me back. I don't care what you have to say whether it is thanks, I'm busy, or go away... just frickin answer me. If I took five SECONDS out of my day on you the least you can do is the same for me. If you text me "Oh no" and I say "what" within seconds of your text... why can't you answer back? Seriously did you text me then throw you phone across the room and run? Because that could be the only way you didn't hear little chime when I responded.

You know what else... someone driving more than 10 MPH under the speed limit.

Yep...

I have serious road rage, and also I just got overly ticked off about my text message pet peeve so this might be bad...

Honestly if you have to drive 10 miles per hour under the speed limit on a road marked 35, don't you think you should pull over for the line of traffic that you have backed up all the way down the busiest 2 lane road in the whole city? Maybe? I don't know just a though, get off the road. Take a chance and give the Crown Victoria a little more gas grandma. I honestly had this happen today. It is so frustrating when I'm trying to get to my parents house and the only direct route is clogged up with someone breaking their neck to look at every flower on the side of the road. Not to mention the elusive foot on the brake the entire way down the hill trick. Yeah, I saw it grandma... you were trying to trick me but it didn't work this time.

And one more thing... that stupid cat that I adopted... bless his heart.

you know you can say whatever you want about anyone or anything as long as you follow it up with bless it's heart.... just saying

Said cat... named Jack... is almost a little too loving. I'm sure the silly thing sleeps all day, he must because last night he proceeded to pounce on my feet every time they moved under the cover. When he wasn't trying to catch my foot, he was in my face trying to bite me. Yes, one of the many traits about Jack that is cute but annoying at the same time, if you don't pet him when he wants to be petted, he will nibble on your chin. Crawl up in your lap, get between you and your iphone, book or whatever, and bite you on the chin. That is one good way to get swatted across the room kitty kitty. I have decided to rename Jack to "MeNow" because he is definitely a MeNow cat. Pet MeNow, Feed MeNow, Play with MeNow.

Ok, so I feel much better now that I got most of that off my chest. I have a few more things that annoy me, I know imagine that "Miss Stressy Pants has something else that annoys her". Haha! If you only knew the things that really get on my nerves. I will save it for next Thursday...

To be continued...

My new banner...

yes I know it is a little pixilated, but I'm trying to get that corrected as we speak.

However.. I want to give a big thanks to Nathan Culpepper from A Shutter In Time Photography, go to his Facebook Page and click like, then tell him I sent ya. He has some amazing photos of my hometown, don't you want to buy a print and hang it in your livingroom?

strength...

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Not much has really changed over the last few days. I've gotten more depressed, but at the same time I have finally found relief.The soon to be ex-husband and I came to an agreement we were both pleased with. I hate to say that I'm happy about it because I'm not. I'm glad that I know what direction my life is taking, but I am still not happy about it at all.

If I could I would go back in time. I would take to heart all those stupid books I bought about relationships and read them a hundred times over if I thought it would change anything. I'd never have let my emotions run hot like they did. I would have made him know without a doubt that I loved him and would never love anyone else. But I can't change that now.

I tried to stop the divorce. He thinks its because I was being greedy, but honestly I really wanted to reconcile. I just didn't know how to do it. I tried to beg, but he said my actions spoke louder than my words. Sometimes we make mistakes. It's too late now isn't it?

Now, my only concern, the well being of my precious angels. I hope that they can adjust to this. I hope they can find comfort in living in two different worlds. I will do anything I can to make them comfortable. Even if it means spending my last penny to make sure they have a happy home with everything they need.

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” ~ August Wilson

So as I take this new pathway in my life, I am still unsure about what I'm supposed to do or even how to do it. Said husband took care of everything for the last eight years. All I had to do was keep the house clean, go to work and buy groceries. Typical housewife stuff. I don't know how to budget money, pay bills, fix a leak. I did, however, buy my first power tool... a drill. I've used it once to hang up some really ugly curtains in the bathroom. I have a tool bag thanks to my Pop, but I'm still clueless. Thank goodness I'm renting a place because the ceiling in the bed room started to leak after a limb went through the roof. I did not have to worry about figuring out how to fix that myself. I have no idea how to do those sort of things or where to start. I feel completely overwhelmed and helpless... but at the same time I have found a peace in knowing that I can do this, I have to survive... there is no other option.

One thing that really scares me... making new friends. There were so many friends that he and I shared. I'm not sure what happened but most of them have stepped back from the situation. Like I said before... I'm not contagious. You can't catch Divorce. But I also understand that married couples don't really want to get involved, or hang out with single people that much. I think he is experiencing the same thing I am. It's understandable. I have a few that check on me from time to time, but there is starting to be more space there, a distance in their voices. I'm not the type to reach out and scream for help when I need my friends around me, but I'm about to learn how. I've got to learn to forgive myself for not holding on to my dream. I've got to find the strength to realize that I am a different person and learn to love myself again. I'm not really sure how to do it. I know that I have to get back in to church, get closer to God. I have gotten so far down, I'm not really sure what will get me back up. I know it will take one step at a time but I'm willing to put my best foot forward right now, just really scared of what I'm stepping into.

The Wednesday Funnies...

I found this one on Stumbleupon.com and just had to share... Enjoy!

Tuesday Treats!

Joy from Confessions from a Southern Socialite tagged me in a post and I, of course, decided to follow the rules and tag others.

The Rules
1. post the rules
2. post 11 fun facts about yourself
3. answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, and then create 11 new questions for the people you tag
4. tag 11 people and link them in your post
5. let them know you’ve “tagged” them

Facts about Me…


1. I will be hitting the big 35 mark this year.

2. I have lived in Mississippi my entire life with the exception of a short stint in 2001 where the city of Monroe, LA was graced with my presence for a year.

3. I have two amazing little girls ages three and six that I refer to as Thing 1 and Thing 2.

4 have found new comfort in an over sized leather chair in my new home. I think it has a magnetic attraction to my backside.

5. I am only as strong as the coffee I drink and the hairspray I use.

6. I am addicted to my iphone, I don’t think I could function a day without it.

7. I have an awesome job, one of the few people in this world that I actually love my job and what I do.

8. I am completely flat footed. One of my oldest friends calls me swamp foot. It is quite amusing since I also wear a size 9 ½ to 10 depending on the shoe.

9. I have several restaurants I love to eat at, but refuse to try anything different on the menu, so depending on what I’m in the mood to eat is which one I will go to. I rarely ever try anything new.

10. I am currently taking the KLove 30 day challenge.

11. I screwed up an permed my hair a few months ago and hated it… still growing it out, but I have started to learn to love the curls.


Questions I had to answer…


1.What was the best part of 2011 for you? Wow… I think the best part of 2011 was finally getting promoted at work. I have been at the company for 6 years now and I felt like I was really appreciated for all my hard work.

2. If you were given the choice to have a maid or chef which would you choose? Definitely a maid, I hate to clean but I love a clean house.

3. What does love mean to you? Never taking advantage of another person.

4. What's one piece of advice you can give this future wife? Be patient with him. You are about to embark on a new journey where you have to share everything with someone you love. You will have good days and bad, and on the bad days just to remember to be patient and understanding. Give him respect even if you feel like he doesn’t deserve it. It’s one of the keys to a great marriage.

5. Do you make your bed every morning? Um… no

6. Are you a couch or recliner type of person? I love my over sized chair

7. Super bowl... which do you like more... the game, the entertainment, the commercials, or the food? All of the above

8. What got you to start blogging? I needed and outlet for my pent up emotions. Sometimes I feel like I have no one to talk to and blogging helps me get it off my chest.

9. You've been given a lazy day, what do you plan to do all day? I had one of those yesterday… and I did absolutely nothing… all day.

10. Cheesecake, chocolate cake or apple pie? My mom’s homemade Cheesecake

11.And only because it never fails that someone will ask you this in life... If you could be a color, what color would you be?! =) I’d be red, the color of passion, bravery and fire. I’m not as brave as I think I am.


My question for you...


1. You can have one of the following two things: trust/love

2. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?

3. Where do you like to go to have fun?

4. What is beauty?

5. Why is it called a "drive through" if you have to stop?

6. Do you have any regrets in life?

7. What is your favorite song and why?

8. If you were granted one wish what would it be?

9. If sour cream is past its expiration date is it good then?

10. Why is your definition of true happiness different from anyone else's definition of true happiness?

11. What do you expect from 2012?


Now it’s your turn...


Angel from Daughter Wife Mother... WOMAN

Jo Jo at Time for Me

Whispering Writer at Airing My Dirty Laundry, One Sock At A Time

Oilfield Trash from Make Daddy a Sammich

SherilinR at laughing my abs off

Shan at I’m Just Sayin...

Whynotgal at Whynotgal :)

Jodi at Under the Georgia Sun

Tammy at What have I Done?

The Angry Lurker at The Angry Lurker

Stephanie at Everyday Stephanie

The Wednesday Funnies

Long ago I posted the first Evolution of Dance... here is part two... enjoy!

The Big Question

Am I doing the right thing?

I often wonder sometimes if I am doing the right thing... am I making the right choices for my family right now? Am I headed on the right path? Really... what the hell am I doing?

I have no idea!

Some days I have this feeling that I am doing the right thing, that I'm doing whats best for my kids and I, but then I have nights like last night where I sat and cried thinking... why do I feel so helpless... why can't I fix this? it's like quick sand, I just keep sinking deeper and deeper, feeling more helpless.

I have always been the person that has tried to fix every situation, to the point that I won't give up until the person gives in and gives us a chance to make up. Yes, I can be that annoying about it. I don't do well when I don't have control of the situation. It is taking time for me to learn and accept that the fate of the relationship depends on the person that cares the least.

So why can't I fix this situation... Why can't I make it all turn around and things go back the way they were? Have we just gone too far to turn back? Can I click my heels 3 times... please... there is no place like home! I know reality doesn't work like that, it's only a fairy tale. I know there is no turning back, but one can hope can't they? I have so many questions and yet there are no answers, and there will never will be.

A new chapter...

“A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi


Funny thing about divorce... people, not all of them, but a few have treated me like I am contagious now. I really hate that. I'm still the same person, I'm just going to be a single mom now. I still laugh at stupid jokes, I still fall down when walking across flat ground, heck... I still burn toast. I'm no different than I was except I'm on my own now.

I started grief counseling this last week. She's a wonderful counselor whom I've known my whole life. She reminded me that I am a beautiful person inside and out. She told me it was ok to be scare, but at the same time to look for the positive in my every day travels. I'm doing just that. I know there isn't anything very positive about a family breaking up, but in the end our kids won't have to grow up and learn the same characteristics that the soon to be ex husband and I have learned. They won't have to hear the fighting and arguing anymore... and that is a positive to this tragedy. I learned that its ok to be frightened about paying bills on my own. It will be ok if I don't get everything perfect. I am my own person, and my life will be what I make it. It's my choice now, not anyone else. I decide my destiny.

I miss my friends... one who I wish I could talk to right now about all of this. Maybe they will read it, maybe not. Between the loss of a few friendships, and now the loss of my marriage I sometimes feel hopeless and alone, but I know I'm not. I just have to reach out and take a chance. So that is what I am doing. I'm taking a chance on me, on being happy. For once in my life I am going to be at peace. I'm going to be satisfied with what I have. I am going to be happy. Thats right... happy. Positive thoughts... right?