So, I apologize for my complete rant the other day about poor pitiful me. I look back now and see that really, it's not so bad. I have friends that honestly love me in return. And because of that... I am a very lucky lady.
I've had a few days to reflect over my relationship status, my situation in life.... everything actually. I could have it much worse. I shouldn't be upset about the fact that I've had bad relationships in the past, friends or otherwise. It just shows me how important the ones I have, the healthy ones, are.
I honestly feel that I've missed out on being happy because I hadn't chosen to be fully happy. Maybe that rant the other day was just what I needed to get it off my chest. Yeah, I'm frustrated that things aren't perfect right now. Honestly... who is it perfect for? You see all these happy people on facebook or in the public eye and behind closed doors it's totally different. Trust me I know, everyone thought my ex husband and I had the perfect relationship. Looks can be deceiving.
I've chosen to be happy again...
I've learned that the fate of any relationship depends on the person who cares the least. So, if I'm making all the effort to keep the relationship there, what does that say about me? Am I needy? I don't think so... Am I desperate? No... Do I want everyone to be happy and feel loved? Yes. But at what expense... I refuse to put more in than I get back. I guess that means... if you show that you are not putting in 100%, why should I... right?
I have been shown the last few days what true friendship really is... with kind words of encouragement, understanding, and helping hands. True friends do that. Let me know you are thinking of me once in a while, don't make me be the one to constantly reach out. It made me think ...
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Next week I start a new chapter in my life. Cross your fingers and say a little prayer.
Friday, April 19, 2013
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
It’s not so bad…
The single life I mean, it’s not that bad.
I've met a few people, been on a few dates or whatever
you want to call them…. spent a lot of time talking and getting to know people. Do I want a relationship? yeah, it would be nice to have that “someone” in my life,
but what will come with it? That is the part that really freaks me out. I want
to know that I can depend on someone to be there, go to the movies with, maybe
dinner now and then… talk at night. Listen to me. That sounds just like a
relationship doesn't it. I just don’t want to be let down again, I don’t think
I can sustain another disappointment.
My head is so jacked up…
With what I've been through and the things I've seen. One
failed attempt after another… I’m not sure if having a boyfriend or
whatever is what I really need. Heck
yeah it would be nice, but.. really? Do I just give too much? When I care about
someone I give it my all… does not matter the situation, friends or otherwise.
I get walked on by some people and that has taught me to be somewhat more
guarded, but honestly… I love with all of my heart, not part of it. Some people
can’t handle it. I literally have so much pain going on in my world that it
makes my heart happy to escape for a while and make someone else smile. It can
be overwhelming for anyone that has never had that in their life. It is also a
welcome comfort to a friend who is hurting. Come cry on my shoulder… it will make
me forget my own problems. But does that make me selfish too?
I sit here writing this with my heart literally breaking,
I can feel the pain in my chest, because I just want to feel happiness… I want
someone to give back and do everything to make me smile, like I try to do for
others. I prayed last night, a lot… I gave all my troubles over to God, I let
it go. I woke up with a sense of peace that things are going to work out. It’s
going to get better. I’m just tired of fighting, I’m tired of crying, I’m
really tired of being so strong… but
that isn't me, I don’t give up and give in. You need me to be positive for you
to make it through the day? I’m going to do it, and with a smile on my face.
But at what point do I get to break down and have my moment…. When do I get to
have someone hold my hand. When can I
cry and hurt? When can I quit being so strong? Because at this point I know
there is no other option than to hold my head high and keep moving forward.
Maybe that’s why I want someone in my life, someone genuine? I’m just so scared
of being let down again that I don’t know what to do. I can’t take that leap of
faith again…
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Are you with the right partner?
ARE YOU WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?
During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"
... The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind
replied the author.
Here's the answer.
Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you
fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls,
want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.
People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you
may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when relationships breakdown.
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.
I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):
The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.
Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.
Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.
Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO! ♥
During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"
... The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind
replied the author.
Here's the answer.
Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you
fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls,
want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.
People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you
may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when relationships breakdown.
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.
I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):
The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.
Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.
Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.
Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO! ♥
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)