So, I apologize for my complete rant the other day about poor pitiful me. I look back now and see that really, it's not so bad. I have friends that honestly love me in return. And because of that... I am a very lucky lady.
I've had a few days to reflect over my relationship status, my situation in life.... everything actually. I could have it much worse. I shouldn't be upset about the fact that I've had bad relationships in the past, friends or otherwise. It just shows me how important the ones I have, the healthy ones, are.
I honestly feel that I've missed out on being happy because I hadn't chosen to be fully happy. Maybe that rant the other day was just what I needed to get it off my chest. Yeah, I'm frustrated that things aren't perfect right now. Honestly... who is it perfect for? You see all these happy people on facebook or in the public eye and behind closed doors it's totally different. Trust me I know, everyone thought my ex husband and I had the perfect relationship. Looks can be deceiving.
I've chosen to be happy again...
I've learned that the fate of any relationship depends on the person who cares the least. So, if I'm making all the effort to keep the relationship there, what does that say about me? Am I needy? I don't think so... Am I desperate? No... Do I want everyone to be happy and feel loved? Yes. But at what expense... I refuse to put more in than I get back. I guess that means... if you show that you are not putting in 100%, why should I... right?
I have been shown the last few days what true friendship really is... with kind words of encouragement, understanding, and helping hands. True friends do that. Let me know you are thinking of me once in a while, don't make me be the one to constantly reach out. It made me think ...
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Next week I start a new chapter in my life. Cross your fingers and say a little prayer.
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