Yes I've been gone for a while, dealing with personal stuff with the divorce and all. Give me time, I still may not post like I should but I'm going to try and do better these days.
The divorce is almost final.. we go to court on March 19th to have to judge sign the papers then it is over. I don't know if I should be relieved or not.
I've made an effort to try and move on with my life. Trying to make new friends that don't know "us" has been a struggle for me. I'm not sure if it is because I have my wall up so high or not. However, I am trying and that is the important part. I've reconnected with old friends and that has been such a help to me as well. I had forgotten about some of the people in my past that truely have my best interest at heart.
I'm learning a lot of new things here lately. Especially how to really love myself. It's been a hard battle with the depression. I go back to my Dr. in a couple of weeks to adjust my medication again, but for the most part I'm dealing well with it better than I was before. Learning to love myself though... it's tough. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am an amazing person, I am a beautiful creature, I am worth being happy and loved.
I went on a short rampage of going to bars and drinking, acting wild and crazy, but at the same time learning that I don't want to live that kind of life. I wasn't happy doing that at all. So now I have decided to bury myself in every book I can find. From my Bible to my latest purchase "The Hunger Games", which I have heard is excellent. I'm making a point to do more activities with the girls. We've spent time at the local frozen yogurt shop and playing on the playground. I've also found peace just spending time with my parents. They have been a rock for me throughout this whole situation.
So for now, keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I am going to be ok, I know it. it just takes time to learn to live again.