Are you with the right partner?

I copied this from a post I found on facebook.... several people shared it. The article originated from https://www.facebook.com/#!/ian.c.so. Enjoy. Definitely worth the read.

ARE YOU WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?


During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"

... The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind
replied the author.

Here's the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you
fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls,
want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you
may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO! ♥

Integrity... it's free

"INTEGRITY IS TELLING MYSELF THE TRUTH. AND HONESTY IS TELLING THE TRUTH TO OTHER PEOPLE." - SPENCER JOHNSON

I stopped in over at S30P to check out what the writing prompt for this week was, low and behold there is a quote... not a word, but a quote. I couldn't pass this one up. As many of you know I have had a great deal of turmoil in my life. Between problems with my husband and the loss of several friends, the words INTEGRITY and HONESTY have played a major role in getting my life, the life of my family, and my career back on track.

“The man who cannot endure to have his errors and shortcomings brought to the surface and made known, but tries to hide them, is unfit to walk the highway of truth.” ~ James Allen

I really don't understand why such a simple thing is so complicated. Honesty and Integrity... why is it so hard? Why is it so hard to be honest with people? Most folks don't realize that if they are upfront and honest to begin with, the repercussions are far less than if they have to explain why they were not honest to begin with? Oh, I was scared that you would be mad, I thought it would be better if you didn't know. Seriously? Let me make that decision, not you. And then there is integrity... Integrity people... If you don't act like "it", then you won't have to cover up and lie to other people about what happened and why you acted like "it" in the first place... oh and you won't be treated like "it" either. I put "it" in quotations because it would be unchristian like to call someone names... just saying. Name calling is simply childish.

I only have time in my life for people who are up front and honest with me.... hence the post about Honesty and Integrity. I do not have time for someone who says they are my friend, but run around telling my business to everyone. If you are one of those people who lacks the ability to be trustworthy... move on. I really hope that one day you will see that this type of behavior is unhealthy. I am not be the perfect Christian by far... but my Savior is. So with that in mind I will tell you I make mistakes, but I will admit when I am wrong. If you come to me and say.... Hey Rosie, did you say blah blah blah or did you blah blah blah? I'm going to be honest with you and tell you if I did or didn't. I may not be proud of some of the things I have done in my life, that is my business and no one else's. 

So as I'm writing this post, a song that I have grown to love comes on KLove... Matt Maher's Hold Us Together, and it all becomes crystal clear to me. You have got to be happy with yourself and the cards you have been dealt. You must make the best of everything you have. Happiness is not something that someone gives you, you can only give it to yourself. There is no amount of money or popularity that will make you love yourself and be happy. It took me forever to finally learn that as long as you are deceptive, as long as you lie to yourself and everyone else, you will never, and I mean NEVER be truly happy. I have found my true happiness... I found it with my renewed relationship with Christ, with my revived relationship with my husband, and my rewarding relationship with my children and my friends. I have learned that you have to have love and respect for yourself, to learn to love and respect other people. The only way to be a true friend and a happy person... the only way... it to have some integrity and honesty. Without that, you are setting yourself up for failure every time.

Thank you to my dear sweet husband, I love you Buck... and to my family and friends, thank you and I love you as well.  - Rosie

 “Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” ~ Dr. Seuss

“I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies.” ~ Pietro Aretino

 Love will hold us together, make us a shelter to weather the storm. And I'll be my brother's keeper, so the whole world would know that we're not alone  - Matt Maher

Hold us Together

I'm on my way to work, listening to KLove like I do every morning.... and I hear these lyrics...

And love will hold us together
Make us a shelter to weather the storm
And I'll be my brother's keeper
So the whole world would know that we're not alone

and then it came over me... such peace. I couldn't get the smile off my face. It was to the point that I went immediately on iTunes as soon as I got to the office to find out what I was listening to and get the album. what I found out was it is Hold Us Together by Matt Maher. He's the same guy that sings Your Grace is Enough and Christ is Risen. Two powerful songs that have helped me in my journey.

Anyhow.... here is one of the videos off of youtube. Go ahead and listen, I'm sure it will make you smile like it did me.

Tomorrow is the big day!

If you forgot (not sure how) about Valentines day, I've compiled a list from various websites of a few last minute gifts and date ideas sure to woo over your significant other. Just make sure not to come home empty handed... Enjoy!!!

Try one of these stores for a quick gift:

• At a Toy Store - Pick up Twister, the Milton-Bradley game that's fun for all ages. And even more fun for adults.
• At Lowe's - Pick up an elegant dendrobium orchid, potted and ready for Valentine's Day giving.
• At Walgreen's - Pick up massage oils and body chocolate (available in four flavors) in the Valentine’s Day aisle.
• Grocery Store - make sure to pick up fresh flowers. Most grocery stores carry fresh flowers next to the product department. Hand delivered flowers always warm the heart.

Even if you select them at the last minute, gifts that bear a big red heart are sure to melt hers. Some ideas:

• Heart-shaped locket
• Heart-shaped picture frame, with a picture of the two of you
• Heart-shaped, red-satin box of chocolates
• Heart-shaped candies that say "I Love You"

Quick items to grab and go:

• Stuffed animal from stationery store
• Book of love poetry
• Store-bought book of love IOU's
• Heart-shaped cake or cupcakes from supermarket.

Romantic date idea:

• a new take on dinner and a movie. Cook her a meal at home and pick up a romantic DVD.
• Order take out and have a candlelit picnic at the lake
• sometimes a spa trip can be expensive, purchase some spa treatments at Bath and Body works or the local drugstore and give each other your own spa treatment and massage.
• Create your own drive in movie in your own garage complete with popcorn and a big soda to share.

Old Photos for new gifts:

• load some of your favorite family photos or photos of the both of you together on a data stick and have various gifts made such as a mouse pad, coffee mug, or a calendar
• Take a favorite photo of the two of you and place it in a frame for a special gift.

And above all else... make sure you let that special person know just how much you love them. Happy Valentine's Day!

To the man I love...

I know I may have this rough exterior and act like nothing can hurt me. I may not show enough emotion when I should and too much when I shouldn't. I speak my opinion too often and don't know when to keep my mouth shut. I drink too much.... when I drink. I can be entirely too loud. I'm selfish and spoiled.

I take for granted all the wonderful things you do for me, I always look over them and fuss about the things you don't do. Thank you for making the coffee every morning, especially since you don't drink it. Thank you for going to work and making sure that the girls and I never have to go without anything. Thank you for being the hero and killing the wasp nest outside during the summer because I have that huge phobia. I'm so lucky that you still look at me with longing lustful eyes even though I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I love the way you smell when you don't wear cologne. I still think its funny that you were willing to shave off your beard because it tickled my nose and scratched my cheeks. I like the beard. 

I promise to try to do better to show you how much I appreciate you. I will make every effort to keep from saying things that I know will hurt your feelings because we had a fight. I realized that it hurts me to know that you are hurting. I never payed attention to your broken heart because all along I thought it was just mine that was breaking.

I'm not going to bitch anymore about leaving your socks or shoes out in the middle of the living room for me to trip over, that's just geography... It's not like I can't walk around them. I may even pick them up for you. You washed all the clothes a couple of weeks ago, so its not like a pair of socks are going to kill me. I won't fuss about your pile of clutter by the coffee pot. You know its there, you know it irritates me, no need to bring any more attention to it because I know you you will eventually get to it... I hope. I promise to try not to get mad every time you hurry to get off the phone with me, even though you know I have to hear you tell me you love me before we get off the phone.

I promise I will try to do better and be a better wife.
So I'm asking this one favor... be patient with me.

forgiveness

so I tried it, I don't think it worked.

In an effort to feel better about myself, I took the time to try and forgive myself for being a complete and total dumb ass. Yes I said it. I am a complete and total dumb ass. My husband says I'm to hard on myself, but I think I really make stupid decisions. Usually fueled by alcohol and my emotions.

I have in the past, cussed complete strangers, broken hearts, told lies, etc. Who hasn't? All the wonderful shameful things you do when you drink or just act completely selfish. I'm married with kids, being selfish is not something I am allowed to have on my resume anymore. I will not give up alcohol, you won't make me do it. You would think that by the age of 33 I would have figured out that by now. I can't go running around in bars with my buddies having a good time... not unless the husband is in tow. And honestly, we have no business being in a bar to begin with. After working several years in the local trash hole we loved so much I saw many relationships and marriages go completely down the toilet. I should know better. Alcohol induced rage is not all its cracked up to be anyway. So that leaves us with the back porch... ahh... Yes I love my back porch and I love my friends back porch as well. No drama, and you can have a normal conversation without screaming to hear over the crappy band that is playing. The company is much better and music is always better.

Feeling better? Some days I do, some days I don't. It's touch and go. Like I said, I don't think the whole forgiveness thing worked but it was worth an effort. I figured out that if I don't just make it a point to like myself more I will never be happy with myself. I'm not saying I will be a complete and total bitch and tell people I'm better than they are, but I will realize that I'm not a mistake in God's eyes. We all have our faults. We all have our sins. Cast the first stone... I dare ya. My skeletons came out of the closet, most people don't know how to even open the door.


10 Things I will do to make myself feel better in December:

1. regardless if I'm going to the mall or Walmart I WILL put on all my make up rather than just the powder and mascara routine. I have incredible eyes and I like the way they look with tons of eye make up on.

2. Try to lose 10 lbs. I have this awesome red and black dress I would like to fit in for a company function.
3. quit wearting t-shirts and pj pants to bed. I have some cute pajamas and I really need to wear them. I'm sure my husband will appreciate me doing this every night rather than once a week as well ;)
4. clean my truck... believe it or not I don't feel like road trash when my truck is clean (inside and out)

5. make a date with a couple of girlfriends. I've been wanting to go to dinner and a movie for a while.

6. Shave my legs everyday even if I want to or not... seriously

7. no t-shirts unless I'm staying around the house... not even to the grocery store.

8. give myself a weekly manicure, my nails are starting to look like crap in the cold weather. And we won't even talk about the shameful sight of my toes... yuck. I promise to fix that this weekend.

9. most days at work I lick my lipstick off... I will not from this day forward

10. go on a hunt for a new red handbag... I've been wanting one for several months now. I always feel better after I buy myself a present.

OK, so there is the list. I will come back to the list first part of January and let you know how it went. I'm not exactly sure that I will hold up my end of the bargain, but its worth a shot right? Wishful thinking I'm sure is all it is.. but who cares. As long as I try I will get some sort of success... right?

love yourself...

“I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, 'well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' that's all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, 'I'm sorry,' and then you say to yourself, 'I'm sorry.' If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we're capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one's own self. I think that young men and women are so caught by the way they see themselves. Now mind you. When a larger society sees them as unattractive, as threats, as too black or too white or too poor or too fat or too thin or too sexual or too asexual, that's rough. But you can overcome that. The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don't have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never teach.” ~ Maya Angelou


We never really think about that we need to forgive ourselves for making mistakes. At some point in time in your life you have to let it go and forgive yourself. As Christians we go to God and ask for forgiveness of our sins, but do we ever just look in the mirror and say "I forgive myself" for what has happened? I look back on the mistakes I've made in my life and I don't think I have ever taken the time to do it. I've prayed to be forgiven, but sometimes haven't felt any peace. I've been forgiven by other people and still haven't felt peace.

So here it goes... I forgive you Roz Buckalew...

I will let you know how I feel later ;)