“A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
Funny thing about divorce... people, not all of them, but a few have treated me like I am contagious now. I really hate that. I'm still the same person, I'm just going to be a single mom now. I still laugh at stupid jokes, I still fall down when walking across flat ground, heck... I still burn toast. I'm no different than I was except I'm on my own now.
I started grief counseling this last week. She's a wonderful counselor whom I've known my whole life. She reminded me that I am a beautiful person inside and out. She told me it was ok to be scare, but at the same time to look for the positive in my every day travels. I'm doing just that. I know there isn't anything very positive about a family breaking up, but in the end our kids won't have to grow up and learn the same characteristics that the soon to be ex husband and I have learned. They won't have to hear the fighting and arguing anymore... and that is a positive to this tragedy. I learned that its ok to be frightened about paying bills on my own. It will be ok if I don't get everything perfect. I am my own person, and my life will be what I make it. It's my choice now, not anyone else. I decide my destiny.
I miss my friends... one who I wish I could talk to right now about all of this. Maybe they will read it, maybe not. Between the loss of a few friendships, and now the loss of my marriage I sometimes feel hopeless and alone, but I know I'm not. I just have to reach out and take a chance. So that is what I am doing. I'm taking a chance on me, on being happy. For once in my life I am going to be at peace. I'm going to be satisfied with what I have. I am going to be happy. Thats right... happy. Positive thoughts... right?
3 comments:
the first time one of my friends found out that her husband was cheating on her & then left her, i was advised by a close, older friend of mine to stick to the cheated woman's side no matter what because all her friends were about to desert her even though she was the victim in the deal. i was really surprised, but she was right and i did end up being the only one who stuck around through it all, ugly, painful and tedious.
i hope you have a friend who will do that for you too. it's really important to be able to have at least one someone who will listen to you as you process this whole new life you've got to learn.
I'm here for you. Anytime. Anyway. Any hour. All pu have to is call. Or maybe sometimes I'll just know. Just remember. I may not be the friend you want, but I will be the friend that us here. No. Matter. What.
I will pray you find that friend you need. I will be here for you via the blogger land, but I know how you need someone there with you . (((HUGS)))
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