Monday, July 30, 2012

It is what it is...


Believe it or not, over the last several weeks I’ve been debating about this particular post. Not sure if the real world was ready for it or not.

I HATE DATING

I can’t stress that enough. I have had the attention of a few members of the opposite sex since my divorce, obviously none of them have been successful. I won’t go into detail on every “relationship” however I will tell you that dating in itself is a train wreck waiting to happen. Especially with me.

I don’t know, I’ve always been taught to give everything I’ve got, in love, life and friendship. So that’s what I do. I don’t know if that scares people away or if I’m just being too pushy, I’m really not sure. I always feel that you should give 100% in everything you do. I don’t really understand why people don’t do the same. I always enter a relationship (friends, dating, coworkers etc.) and give my full attention. I think it is only fair to the other person to let them know that you are willing to make an effort to give it all you have.

Which leads me to my next point… Why don’t people do the same? Why do some people half-ass try at something and then give up when the situation gets hard. I was involved with someone I cared a lot about, I guess you could say my first real relationship since my divorce, yes there was one before but he was obviously a rebound and his personal issues really did cause us major problems.Anyway… Back to my story… I felt like he started to push me away. I may be completely wrong about the issue but that is what I read into it. I’m sure a lot of it had to do with my insecurities. Yes, I had a bad marriage, yes there was trust and faith lost, yes… I’m damaged because of it. So with that in mind, I’m the kind of girl that needs a little reassurance now and then that I’m where I’m supposed to be. I don’t think that is too much to ask right? I didn’t think so. Nothing against him at all, he is a really nice man but in the end, obviously I wasn’t what he wanted and the same goes for me. I did enjoy the time we had together and maybe I tried too hard to make it work. My mistake, but as I said before… I always give 100%. Sometimes it’s too much.

Lesson learned I guess….

I’m sure it will be a while before I try again. I’ve got to work on “me” right now and that will take time. I don’t want any help, nor will I ask for it. But it would be nice to have someone to talk to now and then. It’s a lonely world out there. 


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