Believe it or not, over the last several weeks I’ve been
debating about this particular post. Not sure if the real world was ready for
it or not.
I HATE DATING
I can’t stress that enough. I have had the attention of a
few members of the opposite sex since my divorce, obviously none of them have
been successful. I won’t go into detail on every “relationship” however I will
tell you that dating in itself is a train wreck waiting to happen. Especially
with me.
I don’t know, I’ve always been taught to give everything
I’ve got, in love, life and friendship. So that’s what I do. I don’t know if
that scares people away or if I’m just being too pushy, I’m really not sure. I
always feel that you should give 100% in everything you do. I don’t really
understand why people don’t do the same. I always enter a relationship
(friends, dating, coworkers etc.) and give my full attention. I think it is
only fair to the other person to let them know that you are willing to make an
effort to give it all you have.
Which leads me to my next point… Why don’t people do the
same? Why do some people half-ass try at something and then give up when the
situation gets hard. I was involved with someone I cared a lot about, I guess
you could say my first real relationship since my divorce, yes there was one
before but he was obviously a rebound and his personal issues really did cause
us major problems.Anyway… Back to my story… I felt like he started to push me
away. I may be completely wrong about the issue but that is what I read into
it. I’m sure a lot of it had to do with my insecurities. Yes, I had a bad
marriage, yes there was trust and faith lost, yes… I’m damaged because of it. So
with that in mind, I’m the kind of girl that needs a little reassurance now and
then that I’m where I’m supposed to be. I don’t think that is too much to ask
right? I didn’t think so. Nothing against him at all, he is a really nice man
but in the end, obviously I wasn’t what he wanted and the same goes for me. I
did enjoy the time we had together and maybe I tried too hard to make it work.
My mistake, but as I said before… I always give 100%. Sometimes it’s too much.
Lesson learned I guess….
I’m sure it will be a while before I try again. I’ve got
to work on “me” right now and that will take time. I don’t want any help, nor
will I ask for it. But it would be nice to have someone to talk to now and
then. It’s a lonely world out there.
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