Ugh! This time of year is so completely wrapped up with this one going here that one going there and I have no idea in hell where I'm supposed to be most of the time. Last week of the year, busiest week of the year at work and home. No wonder I polished off a bottle of pino g last night! Of course I paid for it as well this morning and didn't have enough sense to have a little hair of the dog when I got home.
Husband has his cousin in from out of town this week. Kid #1 and their Kid #1 are two days apart. Cousin and I checked in once a week through out our pregnancy just to say... did you feel that, my stomach did that, I ate pickles and chocolate syrup and it was sooooo good. Seriously. I strongly recommend when you get preggo if you ever plan to, find someone, join a group something... always better to have someone there you can compare notes to as you go along. Yeah, my sister had her kid #1 well before I did and offered up amazing advice, but there is nothing like having someone right there. Anyhow, her kid came early due to a small dose of Castor oil in efforts to get labor started... we were awakened at 5 a.m. on a Saturday morning by her husbands words... we won. We were schedules to be induced 2 days later on a Monday. Dammit. None the less, it still is wonderful when they come in town at this time of year. The girls get a day or two to play with each other and its like they just pick up where they left off. I see them growing into great friends one day.
Tomorrow will be Christmas with my side of the family, this should be exciting. Rather than standard turkey or ham for Christmas dinner, we take a different route.The menu will be wine, lasagna, wine, salad, wine, french bread, wine, cheese cake (home made, not that jello no bake shit) baileys and egg nog, apple and cherry pie, maybe some coffee and to top it off... and a nice glass of wine. My mother makes an incredible lasagna... better than mine (I'm not sure how though). I have a feeling I will probably be the only one drinking wine. So at least I will be having fun or think I am, and in the meantime keep the rest of the family entertained with my shenanigans.
The parents decided this year that since the sister and her husband and two kids in tow would be with his parents for Christmas they would take a small vacation to Tampa. Not unusual for them at all. My father was an only child and my mother's brother, I so lovingly call him, never had any need to spend time with us unless he needed money or a free ride. So we spent several holidays on vacation. Loved it! Orlando was always my favorite. Husband and I spent our Christmas with his family on the eve since his mother, a nurse, had to work on Christmas day. I hate that she has to do it, but its part of the job.
I hope next year I can have all of the family (pray for me) over to our house. That would be a total of 21 people, I think? Wait, did I really say I wanted everyone at my house? What the hell am I thinking? I need to start cleaning now to satisfy my OCD'ness before everyone gets here next year. Seriously.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Come on 2011, I'm ready.
I think I'm ready... I'm not really sure.
I have compiled a list of lessons I've learned in 2010. I figured that putting it on "paper" will help me to remember the lessons I've learned and maybe keep me from making the same mistakes again. We will see.
1. Never take your family for granted
2. Call Mom at least every other day, she gets irritated if you don't but won't say anything about it.
3. Call your sister back even if you don't feel up to it. Just tell her you don't feel like talking. She will understand. That's her job.
4. Eat lunch with a friend on a regular basis.
5. Make new friends, you don't know when the old ones will decide to move on.
6. Keep your guard up... to a point
7. Life is not all happy and shiny. There are moments where it is covered in mud. I hope other people learn this as well.
8. The kids really cherish the time you hang out and watch movies. They will remember it.
9. A simple "hey, how are ya" means more to some people than you think.
10. Some people really don't care and those people are the ones you don't need in your life.
11. The husband is trying and you need to let him
12. Never run out of hair spray
13. Always keep your "color" under the sink, roots have a way of sneaking up on you.
14. Be honest with people about how you feel. The ones that love you and that are really your friends, won't mind because they know they can do the same with you.
15. You must wax the eyebrows every two weeks. Regardless if you think you need it or not... no need to run around town looking like a wooly booger.
16. If you let your plants freeze... they will die. No hope, no resurrection... dead.
17. there is no cleaning fairy.... sad but true
18. Some of the best friends you meet will be the people you work with. Most days you spend more time with them than you do with your own family.
19. People will surprise you, in good ways and bad.
20. never have a "discussion" over text messages. It always gets taken out of context.
21. Women are the most cunning and evil member of the cat family.
22. If your friends hide something from you, they are not really your friends. Even if they thought they needed to spare your feelings. What else could they be hiding... something to ponder.
23. If you see something and you think its wrong, speak up then... don't wait and let it get out of hand. Comment if you need an example... I have plenty.
24. If you take the time to call people, but they don't do the same... they are not really your friend so quit wasting your time an energy on someone who won't do the same.
25. Take the time to say Thank you to your friends for being your friends. They really appreciate it.
26. It is NEVER too early in the morning to have chocolate.
27. Get a pedicure at the beginning of sandal season. Please don't let your junky toes hang out.
28. Its never too late to say I'm sorry.
29. Kids never forget anything
30. Save your money... you will need it eventually. Don't buy anything you don't need.
I have compiled a list of lessons I've learned in 2010. I figured that putting it on "paper" will help me to remember the lessons I've learned and maybe keep me from making the same mistakes again. We will see.
1. Never take your family for granted
2. Call Mom at least every other day, she gets irritated if you don't but won't say anything about it.
3. Call your sister back even if you don't feel up to it. Just tell her you don't feel like talking. She will understand. That's her job.
4. Eat lunch with a friend on a regular basis.
5. Make new friends, you don't know when the old ones will decide to move on.
6. Keep your guard up... to a point
7. Life is not all happy and shiny. There are moments where it is covered in mud. I hope other people learn this as well.
8. The kids really cherish the time you hang out and watch movies. They will remember it.
9. A simple "hey, how are ya" means more to some people than you think.
10. Some people really don't care and those people are the ones you don't need in your life.
11. The husband is trying and you need to let him
12. Never run out of hair spray
13. Always keep your "color" under the sink, roots have a way of sneaking up on you.
14. Be honest with people about how you feel. The ones that love you and that are really your friends, won't mind because they know they can do the same with you.
15. You must wax the eyebrows every two weeks. Regardless if you think you need it or not... no need to run around town looking like a wooly booger.
16. If you let your plants freeze... they will die. No hope, no resurrection... dead.
17. there is no cleaning fairy.... sad but true
18. Some of the best friends you meet will be the people you work with. Most days you spend more time with them than you do with your own family.
19. People will surprise you, in good ways and bad.
20. never have a "discussion" over text messages. It always gets taken out of context.
21. Women are the most cunning and evil member of the cat family.
22. If your friends hide something from you, they are not really your friends. Even if they thought they needed to spare your feelings. What else could they be hiding... something to ponder.
23. If you see something and you think its wrong, speak up then... don't wait and let it get out of hand. Comment if you need an example... I have plenty.
24. If you take the time to call people, but they don't do the same... they are not really your friend so quit wasting your time an energy on someone who won't do the same.
25. Take the time to say Thank you to your friends for being your friends. They really appreciate it.
26. It is NEVER too early in the morning to have chocolate.
27. Get a pedicure at the beginning of sandal season. Please don't let your junky toes hang out.
28. Its never too late to say I'm sorry.
29. Kids never forget anything
30. Save your money... you will need it eventually. Don't buy anything you don't need.
Monday, December 20, 2010
why I do this
Not exactly sure why I blog, but I thought this would be a good way to express how I feel and bull shit like that. Really? No one gives a rats ass about how I feel. Well, except the family and the husband, they care but in all honesty... not really anyone else. So whats the point of telling you how I feel. I fed that load of crap to my therapist and I still didn't feel any better about life in general.
yes, I said my therapist
Who does she talk to about all the madness and tragedy that she hears about every day? Does she sit down with her friends on her girls weekend and say you won't believe what this random psycho said today. Am I crazy for feeling like that? I often think to myself about that. She can't say who its about but I can't help but wonder if she gives enough detail to let someone in so they can figure it out. I'm sure that is just some of my psycho tendencies coming out.
Speaking of that.. It's time I called her and made an appointment. I've got some issues I need to talk about.
The husband has been a big help. He has been there to listen to what bothers me, give advice blah blah blah. But there are just some things you can't talk to your husband about... not in detail. Not like you would share with your girlfriends... you know, stuff about him. And well of course this uncontrollable urge to cry all the time.
I think it's the stress of the Holiday season. Between work and birthday parties and drama and more work.. I don't feel like we are getting ahead at all. Yet another thing I need to talk to my therapist about.
Keep your head up Rosie, the year is almost over and it will be slow as dirt at work again, no shopping for at least a couple of months, and all the drama will eventually go away...
yes, I said my therapist
Lovely woman, I have not seen her in a couple of months now, maybe I should.. but I got really tired of hearing her say and how does that make you feel?
Therapist really say that... believe it or not because I thought people were full of it when they told me to beware of the phrase. This is the phrase that sucks you in to telling your deepest darkest secret. Of course it makes you feel so much better that you shared your horrifying secrets with someone. The part that really gets me is that I see her from time to time, grocery store and what not, and she never acknowledges me. I like that. Not that I don't want to talk about my personal problems while debating over the store brand canned tomatoes vs DelMonte, but its nice to feel like I have that safe place to talk... sometimes. I can't help but wonder, who does my therapist talk to?
Who does she talk to about all the madness and tragedy that she hears about every day? Does she sit down with her friends on her girls weekend and say you won't believe what this random psycho said today. Am I crazy for feeling like that? I often think to myself about that. She can't say who its about but I can't help but wonder if she gives enough detail to let someone in so they can figure it out. I'm sure that is just some of my psycho tendencies coming out.
Speaking of that.. It's time I called her and made an appointment. I've got some issues I need to talk about.
The husband has been a big help. He has been there to listen to what bothers me, give advice blah blah blah. But there are just some things you can't talk to your husband about... not in detail. Not like you would share with your girlfriends... you know, stuff about him. And well of course this uncontrollable urge to cry all the time.
I think it's the stress of the Holiday season. Between work and birthday parties and drama and more work.. I don't feel like we are getting ahead at all. Yet another thing I need to talk to my therapist about.
Keep your head up Rosie, the year is almost over and it will be slow as dirt at work again, no shopping for at least a couple of months, and all the drama will eventually go away...
Thursday, December 16, 2010
To the man I love...
I know I may have this rough exterior and act like nothing can hurt me. I may not show enough emotion when I should and too much when I shouldn't. I speak my opinion too often and don't know when to keep my mouth shut. I drink too much.... when I drink. I can be entirely too loud. I'm selfish and spoiled.
I take for granted all the wonderful things you do for me, I always look over them and fuss about the things you don't do. Thank you for making the coffee every morning, especially since you don't drink it. Thank you for going to work and making sure that the girls and I never have to go without anything. Thank you for being the hero and killing the wasp nest outside during the summer because I have that huge phobia. I'm so lucky that you still look at me with longing lustful eyes even though I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I love the way you smell when you don't wear cologne. I still think its funny that you were willing to shave off your beard because it tickled my nose and scratched my cheeks. I like the beard.
I promise to try to do better to show you how much I appreciate you. I will make every effort to keep from saying things that I know will hurt your feelings because we had a fight. I realized that it hurts me to know that you are hurting. I never payed attention to your broken heart because all along I thought it was just mine that was breaking.
I'm not going to bitch anymore about leaving your socks or shoes out in the middle of the living room for me to trip over, that's just geography... It's not like I can't walk around them. I may even pick them up for you. You washed all the clothes a couple of weeks ago, so its not like a pair of socks are going to kill me. I won't fuss about your pile of clutter by the coffee pot. You know its there, you know it irritates me, no need to bring any more attention to it because I know you you will eventually get to it... I hope. I promise to try not to get mad every time you hurry to get off the phone with me, even though you know I have to hear you tell me you love me before we get off the phone.
I promise I will try to do better and be a better wife.
So I'm asking this one favor... be patient with me.
I take for granted all the wonderful things you do for me, I always look over them and fuss about the things you don't do. Thank you for making the coffee every morning, especially since you don't drink it. Thank you for going to work and making sure that the girls and I never have to go without anything. Thank you for being the hero and killing the wasp nest outside during the summer because I have that huge phobia. I'm so lucky that you still look at me with longing lustful eyes even though I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I love the way you smell when you don't wear cologne. I still think its funny that you were willing to shave off your beard because it tickled my nose and scratched my cheeks. I like the beard.
I promise to try to do better to show you how much I appreciate you. I will make every effort to keep from saying things that I know will hurt your feelings because we had a fight. I realized that it hurts me to know that you are hurting. I never payed attention to your broken heart because all along I thought it was just mine that was breaking.
I'm not going to bitch anymore about leaving your socks or shoes out in the middle of the living room for me to trip over, that's just geography... It's not like I can't walk around them. I may even pick them up for you. You washed all the clothes a couple of weeks ago, so its not like a pair of socks are going to kill me. I won't fuss about your pile of clutter by the coffee pot. You know its there, you know it irritates me, no need to bring any more attention to it because I know you you will eventually get to it... I hope. I promise to try not to get mad every time you hurry to get off the phone with me, even though you know I have to hear you tell me you love me before we get off the phone.
I promise I will try to do better and be a better wife.
So I'm asking this one favor... be patient with me.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
reality check...
How could I honestly think in my twisted little head that it wouldn't have happened to me, but it did. I got a prank call from non other than an Indian Pervert... no not Indian like native American, Indian like from India. Nothing worse than feeling like I'm on the phone with some sort of computer tech support at 10:00 at night and get asked about the shape of my body when in reality its 2:00 in the afternoon and I'm at work. Really? Get a life asshole!
Well I know how... I actually felt sorry for this guy unlike the 100's of morons that have called in the past trying to get me to "update" my listing that I've abruptly hung up on. I thought to myself "self, this time be nice and update the listing" and so I did... and that's what it got me. Gross... I feel violated.
So I wonder how well this would work if I turned the situation around? Next time I have a telemarketer call the house trying to sell me additional insurance on my kids bicycle or lower the rates on a credit card I canceled 2 years ago... I'm just going to ask "what is the size of your figure" or maybe I will take the foot fetish route.
I was verbally assaulted by some man from Yellow Pages, but I’m not sure which yellow pages since there are like 100’s of yellowpages.com etc. He wanted to update our listing and when I told him I was not authorized to make changes or purchase he proceeded to ask me “what is the size of your figure” (my figure? did he really just say that?), I questioned him why he needed to know that and he replied “so I can imagine it in front of me” (now I'm about to crawl under my desk because I am so completely disturb). I replied “what are you some pervert?” and he said “yes, I am mental.” Shocked, I hung the phone up without getting his supervisors name or anything. One of the guys I work with insisted on asking me at least 10 times if I was ok. Yes, I'm ok... I am also deeply disturbed now because I can't go and rat this guy out for being a sick perv.
How the hell did that happen to me?
Well I know how... I actually felt sorry for this guy unlike the 100's of morons that have called in the past trying to get me to "update" my listing that I've abruptly hung up on. I thought to myself "self, this time be nice and update the listing" and so I did... and that's what it got me. Gross... I feel violated.
So I wonder how well this would work if I turned the situation around? Next time I have a telemarketer call the house trying to sell me additional insurance on my kids bicycle or lower the rates on a credit card I canceled 2 years ago... I'm just going to ask "what is the size of your figure" or maybe I will take the foot fetish route.
Friday, December 10, 2010
tis the season...
to be freezin...
Baby its cold outside!
I'm not a big holiday person, so to say, but I try. Many years ago my family had a devastating Christmas with the loss of an amazing woman, on top of all that we had a just a little family drama. I won't get into details because its nobodys business but in all it wasn't good for the holiday spirit. At all...
Since then I have felt like the holidays were tainted for me. I never get excited about putting up the tree, putting out decorations, making cookies or any of that stuff. Having a 5 yr old and a 2 year old, I've got to get past that some day. I have tried really hard since we had kids to get excited but it seems like it gets worse every year. The thing that I can't get past is my attitude. I am so bitter this time of year. No matter what I try to do to get in the spirit, I just can't get over it. I try to have a positive outlook, but its to the point that I can't get ahead no matter what I do.
We have tried to make a family tradition of champagne and Christmas music while we put up the tree... I usually end up drunk and raising hell because the Husband hands me the ornaments too fast... gotta have time to place them, or he won't get up and help hang ornaments (usually because I bitch because he did it wrong). Don't blame me, its the alcohol. That right there makes it even more fun... yippee! Then the next few days is filled with me raising more hell because 1. I just got over a killer hangover, 2. the kids won't keep their hands out of the tree 3. I, for some reason, try to rationalize with myself that I need more Christmas decorations in the house. Why? I'm not really sure, maybe it will make me like the commercial part of the holiday more, I don't know. Never the less... I end up sending us bankrupt since we are already broke at the Dollar General buying pointless little knick knacs that could otherwise be viewed as JUNK. Yep.
The next part is even better... that couple of hundred bucks I spent on kid 1 and kid 2... tossed aside for the wrapping paper and then off to the grandparents to see what else they can get their hands on. It just really chaps my you know whatta that all she wanted last year was a video game, so we got it, and right now I think it's under her bed... seriously. But alas Santa dearest will come through this year yet again and get that top pick on her list. This year Baby Alive, the one that eats. Wonder how long she will play with that one. I'm kinda excited to see what it really eats. Plastic maybe?
Who cares anyway right? Christmas is not about exchanging gifts and seeing who paid more that who for what. Its about the BIRTH OF JESUS! I don't understand how we ended up with a Santa... oh yea it was Woolsworth wasn't it. I would rather people show this much joy and happiness all year long. My sister says ... and I quote:
Uhmmmm Santa is actually a commercialized version of Saint Nicholas that visited poor children and brought them gifts during the Advent season (the 4 weeks before Christmas). So, there is actually a reason for Santa… a historical reason. Just thought you might get a kick out of that.
Thanks Jojo for clearing that up for me... much love
Next weekend is the kid's birthday, going to put the tree up after that. I took my time, but I wanted to make sure the oldest kiddo got to enjoy her birthday 100%.
Next weekend is the kid's birthday, going to put the tree up after that. I took my time, but I wanted to make sure the oldest kiddo got to enjoy her birthday 100%.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
vanity part deux...
So I decided to take down the huge ass photo of me that I had posted at the top of the blog... I guess I got tired of looking at my cleavage every time I viewed my blog... Ha! Maybe I got tired of everyone looking at my cleavage. Who knows, but I have a nice pink swirly thing at the top now, so nah.
I started watching people to see just how vain they really are. Its amazing. We should always put our best foot forward, but at some point in time you have to say enough.
vain adj \`van\ : having or showing undue or excessive pride in one's appearance or achievements : conceited
I've come to know some people that really take this to a whole new level. I'm proud of my accomplishments and I feel like I'm an attractive woman, but at no point in time have I gone around bragging about things... well, I brag about my lasagna even though its nothing special. For instance, I met a man the other day that reagardless of what you have done, he has done it too and did it better, made more money, impressed more people, did it bigger. Really? Who cares!
Be proud of what you have accomplished in your life, but don't make other people feel inadequate by putting them in your shadow. We all came into this world the same way. 9 months of a nice warm spot and the he said "let there be light". I know that there are a few of you that have a little bit of a different story, but still in the end we all were created equal in God's eyes.
Love each other and have peace in your heart
I started watching people to see just how vain they really are. Its amazing. We should always put our best foot forward, but at some point in time you have to say enough.
vain adj \`van\ : having or showing undue or excessive pride in one's appearance or achievements : conceited
I've come to know some people that really take this to a whole new level. I'm proud of my accomplishments and I feel like I'm an attractive woman, but at no point in time have I gone around bragging about things... well, I brag about my lasagna even though its nothing special. For instance, I met a man the other day that reagardless of what you have done, he has done it too and did it better, made more money, impressed more people, did it bigger. Really? Who cares!
Be proud of what you have accomplished in your life, but don't make other people feel inadequate by putting them in your shadow. We all came into this world the same way. 9 months of a nice warm spot and the he said "let there be light". I know that there are a few of you that have a little bit of a different story, but still in the end we all were created equal in God's eyes.
Love each other and have peace in your heart
Friday, December 3, 2010
forgiveness
so I tried it, I don't think it worked.
In an effort to feel better about myself, I took the time to try and forgive myself for being a complete and total dumb ass. Yes I said it. I am a complete and total dumb ass. My husband says I'm to hard on myself, but I think I really make stupid decisions. Usually fueled by alcohol and my emotions.
I have in the past, cussed complete strangers, broken hearts, told lies, etc. Who hasn't? All the wonderful shameful things you do when you drink or just act completely selfish. I'm married with kids, being selfish is not something I am allowed to have on my resume anymore. I will not give up alcohol, you won't make me do it. You would think that by the age of 33 I would have figured out that by now. I can't go running around in bars with my buddies having a good time... not unless the husband is in tow. And honestly, we have no business being in a bar to begin with. After working several years in the local trash hole we loved so much I saw many relationships and marriages go completely down the toilet. I should know better. Alcohol induced rage is not all its cracked up to be anyway. So that leaves us with the back porch... ahh... Yes I love my back porch and I love my friends back porch as well. No drama, and you can have a normal conversation without screaming to hear over the crappy band that is playing. The company is much better and music is always better.
Feeling better? Some days I do, some days I don't. It's touch and go. Like I said, I don't think the whole forgiveness thing worked but it was worth an effort. I figured out that if I don't just make it a point to like myself more I will never be happy with myself. I'm not saying I will be a complete and total bitch and tell people I'm better than they are, but I will realize that I'm not a mistake in God's eyes. We all have our faults. We all have our sins. Cast the first stone... I dare ya. My skeletons came out of the closet, most people don't know how to even open the door.
10 Things I will do to make myself feel better in December:
1. regardless if I'm going to the mall or Walmart I WILL put on all my make up rather than just the powder and mascara routine. I have incredible eyes and I like the way they look with tons of eye make up on.
2. Try to lose 10 lbs. I have this awesome red and black dress I would like to fit in for a company function.
3. quit wearting t-shirts and pj pants to bed. I have some cute pajamas and I really need to wear them. I'm sure my husband will appreciate me doing this every night rather than once a week as well ;)
4. clean my truck... believe it or not I don't feel like road trash when my truck is clean (inside and out)
5. make a date with a couple of girlfriends. I've been wanting to go to dinner and a movie for a while.
6. Shave my legs everyday even if I want to or not... seriously
7. no t-shirts unless I'm staying around the house... not even to the grocery store.
8. give myself a weekly manicure, my nails are starting to look like crap in the cold weather. And we won't even talk about the shameful sight of my toes... yuck. I promise to fix that this weekend.
9. most days at work I lick my lipstick off... I will not from this day forward
10. go on a hunt for a new red handbag... I've been wanting one for several months now. I always feel better after I buy myself a present.
OK, so there is the list. I will come back to the list first part of January and let you know how it went. I'm not exactly sure that I will hold up my end of the bargain, but its worth a shot right? Wishful thinking I'm sure is all it is.. but who cares. As long as I try I will get some sort of success... right?
In an effort to feel better about myself, I took the time to try and forgive myself for being a complete and total dumb ass. Yes I said it. I am a complete and total dumb ass. My husband says I'm to hard on myself, but I think I really make stupid decisions. Usually fueled by alcohol and my emotions.
I have in the past, cussed complete strangers, broken hearts, told lies, etc. Who hasn't? All the wonderful shameful things you do when you drink or just act completely selfish. I'm married with kids, being selfish is not something I am allowed to have on my resume anymore. I will not give up alcohol, you won't make me do it. You would think that by the age of 33 I would have figured out that by now. I can't go running around in bars with my buddies having a good time... not unless the husband is in tow. And honestly, we have no business being in a bar to begin with. After working several years in the local trash hole we loved so much I saw many relationships and marriages go completely down the toilet. I should know better. Alcohol induced rage is not all its cracked up to be anyway. So that leaves us with the back porch... ahh... Yes I love my back porch and I love my friends back porch as well. No drama, and you can have a normal conversation without screaming to hear over the crappy band that is playing. The company is much better and music is always better.
Feeling better? Some days I do, some days I don't. It's touch and go. Like I said, I don't think the whole forgiveness thing worked but it was worth an effort. I figured out that if I don't just make it a point to like myself more I will never be happy with myself. I'm not saying I will be a complete and total bitch and tell people I'm better than they are, but I will realize that I'm not a mistake in God's eyes. We all have our faults. We all have our sins. Cast the first stone... I dare ya. My skeletons came out of the closet, most people don't know how to even open the door.
10 Things I will do to make myself feel better in December:
1. regardless if I'm going to the mall or Walmart I WILL put on all my make up rather than just the powder and mascara routine. I have incredible eyes and I like the way they look with tons of eye make up on.
2. Try to lose 10 lbs. I have this awesome red and black dress I would like to fit in for a company function.
3. quit wearting t-shirts and pj pants to bed. I have some cute pajamas and I really need to wear them. I'm sure my husband will appreciate me doing this every night rather than once a week as well ;)
4. clean my truck... believe it or not I don't feel like road trash when my truck is clean (inside and out)
5. make a date with a couple of girlfriends. I've been wanting to go to dinner and a movie for a while.
6. Shave my legs everyday even if I want to or not... seriously
7. no t-shirts unless I'm staying around the house... not even to the grocery store.
8. give myself a weekly manicure, my nails are starting to look like crap in the cold weather. And we won't even talk about the shameful sight of my toes... yuck. I promise to fix that this weekend.
9. most days at work I lick my lipstick off... I will not from this day forward
10. go on a hunt for a new red handbag... I've been wanting one for several months now. I always feel better after I buy myself a present.
OK, so there is the list. I will come back to the list first part of January and let you know how it went. I'm not exactly sure that I will hold up my end of the bargain, but its worth a shot right? Wishful thinking I'm sure is all it is.. but who cares. As long as I try I will get some sort of success... right?
Thursday, December 2, 2010
vanity...
Do you think I'm begin vain by having this HUGE ass pic of me at the top of my blog or what?
I really like the pic so I guess it makes no difference to me anyway.
I read an awesome blog today... on the Blogs of Note section of blogger.com "Calling People Names", this woman has an incredible talent for writing. I promise she had me laughing and crying within the first 3 post that I read. If ever she were to write a book, I would buy it. Please check it out if you have time. Definitely worth following.
Back on the vanity thing... I had these pictures taken back in February by my friend Paul Pippin, I've known since early childhood. I being the nerd girl him being the goofy boy, we got along great. Pop and his dad whom I lovingly call Pitty Pat have been good friends as long as I can remember.
I look at these photos that I say I took for my husband (but we all know it was for me) and think... I really don't feel that beautiful and how much photo shop did he really use... seriously! I know my cleavage does not look that perfect, or maybe it does. Who knows and who cares... I like it and at the end of the day, that's all that really matters, right?
I suggest every woman, take the time to have some really good photos taken, not the BS you get done at one of those sit down and pose places. Go to Paul or anyone that has an eye for the photo and have your picture taken. Dress sexy, wear lots of makeup, show a little skin (not too much) and do something to make yourself feel awesome! I have some friends that have had photos done by him and they loved it. I would do it again in a heartbeat. I don't show everyone all the pics he took, there are some sex kitten photos on the disk but I have them just for me. Only me, and well Glenn too ;)
I really like the pic so I guess it makes no difference to me anyway.
I read an awesome blog today... on the Blogs of Note section of blogger.com "Calling People Names", this woman has an incredible talent for writing. I promise she had me laughing and crying within the first 3 post that I read. If ever she were to write a book, I would buy it. Please check it out if you have time. Definitely worth following.
Back on the vanity thing... I had these pictures taken back in February by my friend Paul Pippin, I've known since early childhood. I being the nerd girl him being the goofy boy, we got along great. Pop and his dad whom I lovingly call Pitty Pat have been good friends as long as I can remember.
I look at these photos that I say I took for my husband (but we all know it was for me) and think... I really don't feel that beautiful and how much photo shop did he really use... seriously! I know my cleavage does not look that perfect, or maybe it does. Who knows and who cares... I like it and at the end of the day, that's all that really matters, right?
I suggest every woman, take the time to have some really good photos taken, not the BS you get done at one of those sit down and pose places. Go to Paul or anyone that has an eye for the photo and have your picture taken. Dress sexy, wear lots of makeup, show a little skin (not too much) and do something to make yourself feel awesome! I have some friends that have had photos done by him and they loved it. I would do it again in a heartbeat. I don't show everyone all the pics he took, there are some sex kitten photos on the disk but I have them just for me. Only me, and well Glenn too ;)
love yourself...
“I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, 'well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' that's all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, 'I'm sorry,' and then you say to yourself, 'I'm sorry.' If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we're capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one's own self. I think that young men and women are so caught by the way they see themselves. Now mind you. When a larger society sees them as unattractive, as threats, as too black or too white or too poor or too fat or too thin or too sexual or too asexual, that's rough. But you can overcome that. The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don't have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never teach.” ~ Maya Angelou
We never really think about that we need to forgive ourselves for making mistakes. At some point in time in your life you have to let it go and forgive yourself. As Christians we go to God and ask for forgiveness of our sins, but do we ever just look in the mirror and say "I forgive myself" for what has happened? I look back on the mistakes I've made in my life and I don't think I have ever taken the time to do it. I've prayed to be forgiven, but sometimes haven't felt any peace. I've been forgiven by other people and still haven't felt peace.
So here it goes... I forgive you Roz Buckalew...
I will let you know how I feel later ;)
We never really think about that we need to forgive ourselves for making mistakes. At some point in time in your life you have to let it go and forgive yourself. As Christians we go to God and ask for forgiveness of our sins, but do we ever just look in the mirror and say "I forgive myself" for what has happened? I look back on the mistakes I've made in my life and I don't think I have ever taken the time to do it. I've prayed to be forgiven, but sometimes haven't felt any peace. I've been forgiven by other people and still haven't felt peace.
So here it goes... I forgive you Roz Buckalew...
I will let you know how I feel later ;)
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
party animals...
So Glenn goes to where we hunt to check on the camera and this is what he finds on the SD card! Was it girls night out or what? I swear... these ladies are definatley party animals, and hangin out with Coons?
Seriously, we got some great pictures. Couple of different bucks, few does, and lots of coons... coons like having their pictures taken I guess ;)
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