The Wednesday Funnies

A little something to help everyone get through "Hump Day".

I love Chuck Norris, that is all.

1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. There is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas

3. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

4. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

5. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass… at night.

6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage

7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

8. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

9. When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

10. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

11. Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

12. Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.

13. Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting

14. Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.

15. Chuck Norris eats eight meals a day. Seven are steak, and the last is the rest of the cow

16. When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

17. A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.

18. Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with barbed wire.

19. Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard

20. Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Taken from http://www.chucknorrisjokes.net/