Am I doing the right thing?
I often wonder sometimes if I am doing the right thing... am I making the right choices for my family right now? Am I headed on the right path? Really... what the hell am I doing?
I have no idea!
Some days I have this feeling that I am doing the right thing, that I'm doing whats best for my kids and I, but then I have nights like last night where I sat and cried thinking... why do I feel so helpless... why can't I fix this? it's like quick sand, I just keep sinking deeper and deeper, feeling more helpless.
I have always been the person that has tried to fix every situation, to the point that I won't give up until the person gives in and gives us a chance to make up. Yes, I can be that annoying about it. I don't do well when I don't have control of the situation. It is taking time for me to learn and accept that the fate of the relationship depends on the person that cares the least.
So why can't I fix this situation... Why can't I make it all turn around and things go back the way they were? Have we just gone too far to turn back? Can I click my heels 3 times... please... there is no place like home! I know reality doesn't work like that, it's only a fairy tale. I know there is no turning back, but one can hope can't they? I have so many questions and yet there are no answers, and there will never will be.
2 comments:
I think this part is normal. You'll always wonder what if. But it will get better. (((HUGS)))
Being a grown up stinks. When I was was llittle, I believed that the grown-ups had ALL the answers. Now, I'm the grown-up and I'm clueless. Either I'm a really bad adult, or I was sadly mistaken as a child.
I say that to let you know that you aren't alone. We all question ourselves, second-guess our decisions, and generally feel like we're lost. I feel even worse than I did as a child. Then I had hope that when I grew up, I'd have the answers. Now I know that I don't, and I never will.
But I have friends like you and you have us, and well help each other find our way out of the haze.
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