love letters

I started a new "project" this week. I'm not really good at showing my emotions, I'm scared that people will take advantage of the fact that I can be too nice at times. Usually when I get walked on is when I backlash, and it isn't a pretty sight.

The new project is "Love Letters". Most people keep a journal to write down their thoughts, and you might remember from the movie "The Help" where she wrote down her prayers. I took those two ideas and started writing a book of letters to my husband.

We have been going through a tough time lately, most couples do at some point in time in their marriage. I thought something like this would only help to make us stronger.

Two weeks ago I found myself standing in the self help isle at Lifeway Christian store looking for something to help me mend the problems in my life and my marriage. I ended up buying three books about love and respect, ordered one online called "The Peacemaker" and my neighbor brought me a book about the lies women tell themselves and believe... all in the same day. I thought at that moment, that day, God was talking to me. While I was in Lifeway I was drawn to where the journals are... I picked up the first one and on the front it said Love. That's when it hit me. I'm not that great at telling him how I feel or even showing him how I care about him, so with that in mind I bought the journal with the idea that I would start to write down all the things that I feel about us, our family, and our marriage.

This past Saturday while he was gone and while the kids were napping I sat down in my favorite chair, with my favorite pen and drew a complete blank. What happened next was something completely amazing. I decided to write a love letter to my husband. I explained to him how much I cared and what I wanted out of our relationship. I told him that no matter what we have been through we have always been able to climb back up that hill together and we would do it again this time. After writing my letter it was like I had started to fall in love all over again... I couldn't wait for him to read it. I was mad at frustrated with him when we got back home that afternoon. I took the kids to play when he walked in so he could have some peace and quiet. (he's not a happy camper when he gets sleepy and he had been up since 5:30 a.m.) I needed some time for peace and quiet as well, but that wasn't an option for me. But when I sat down with him later that day and showed him what I had done, all of the frustration and resentment left. As I saw the smile on his face I began to smile. It made me happy to make him happy.

I told him that now and then when I felt the need to be angry or loving, he might find a letter in that book. I've put it in a place in our bedroom where he could find it and maybe if he feels up to it, he could share his thoughts with me as well. I plan to start a book of letters for #1 and #2 that I can give to them when they get old enough to understand what I'm writing. Hope you do the same for your loved one