Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Unbreakable?

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” ~ C.S. Lewis

I'm not really sure if I am broken, or if I have just become numb to some situations. I want to say I give up sometimes, but then its always easier to give up than to fight back for what is right and what you want.

I want my family, I want my life, I want my friends, I want my love... I don't want to be alone, I don't want to walk around day to day without the security of what I know to be true and right. But I also don't want to walk around in a haze of a "picture perfect" world. I have often been told by people that they envy the relationship my husband and I have. If you only knew... we struggle with the same things other couples face, but at the same time... we are a forgiving and loving couple. A marriage you just can't give up on. There is too much at stake.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

I am faced with obstacles from time to time that makes me want to throw my hands up in the air and say "I give up" but then I look in the eyes of my children and my spouse and know without a doubt that they are the most important things in my life. Without them, I wouldn't be me. So with that in mind...I will do what ever I have to do to protect them. Never doubt my strength to handle a situation. I am scared... I wake up every day in fear that what I have can be torn from my hands. That fear has given me the strength to protect them and I won't go down without a fight.


3 comments:

TheUnSoccerMom said...

AMEN!

Unknown said...

Being strong is hard. But please know that you have friends that will be more than happy to lend you strength when your burden is heavy. We will silently (and sometimes not so silently) help you hold up the weight that is making you feel weak. We are your friends and supporters. Don't forget: You Are Not Alone.

stephanie said...

I love the Eleanor Roosevelt quote, so fitting