The Wednesday Funnies

Keep checking back to Hello Rosie...

I'm taking a short vacation from blogging, but I promise to deliver The Wednesday Funnies on time each week. Miss me much, I will be back soon!


THE FOLLOWING ARE ALL QUOTES FROM 11 YEAR OLDS' SCIENCE EXAMS:

* "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is
pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."

* "Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the
cow instead of the bull."

* "When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."

* "H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."

* "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars."

* "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on
them and makes them perspire."

* "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they
look like umbrellas."

* "The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and
the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the
borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity
contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o and u."

 "Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot."

* "Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."

* "For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and
down to make Artificial Perspiration."

* "For Fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm
above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the
nearest medical doctor."

* "The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."

* "The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water
tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon,
and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in
this fight."

* "Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."
* "Germinate: To become a naturalized German."

* "To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."

* "To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow."

I can't wait till #1 starts school.... for reals yo. She starts Kindergarten this year.

Unbreakable?

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” ~ C.S. Lewis

I'm not really sure if I am broken, or if I have just become numb to some situations. I want to say I give up sometimes, but then its always easier to give up than to fight back for what is right and what you want.

I want my family, I want my life, I want my friends, I want my love... I don't want to be alone, I don't want to walk around day to day without the security of what I know to be true and right. But I also don't want to walk around in a haze of a "picture perfect" world. I have often been told by people that they envy the relationship my husband and I have. If you only knew... we struggle with the same things other couples face, but at the same time... we are a forgiving and loving couple. A marriage you just can't give up on. There is too much at stake.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

I am faced with obstacles from time to time that makes me want to throw my hands up in the air and say "I give up" but then I look in the eyes of my children and my spouse and know without a doubt that they are the most important things in my life. Without them, I wouldn't be me. So with that in mind...I will do what ever I have to do to protect them. Never doubt my strength to handle a situation. I am scared... I wake up every day in fear that what I have can be torn from my hands. That fear has given me the strength to protect them and I won't go down without a fight.

“I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection” ~ Thomas Paine

Are you ready for some football? And a GIVEAWAY??

Check it out! My friend Joy over at Confessions from a Southern Socialite is having a giveaway! Not just any give away, but the best give away for any of the ladies that are college football fans! 

She is giving away TWO $25 gift certificates to Passionately Rivalicious, The Collegiate Clothing Boutique for Women & Children!!  They offer items from over 25 colleges — from the Big 12, SEC, and more!

It is so easy to get entered into this giveaway! Who doesn't love football? And for all you guys out there... you need to enter to win as well. I've already put my entry in to win so.... GAME ON! Don't wait go over today and enter!

and for all my MSU fans out there... GO DAWGS!

A suggestion for your next barbecue....

Summer's here, Time to barbeque. Give up the diet for the summer and enjoy......... 
Keep the digitalis handy.

CALLING ALL COOKS; A NEW RECIPE FROM ALABAMA Red-Neck Turtle Burgers WOW!!! Only in ALABAMA Here's a new twist on how to serve burgers and if you don't cook, give this handy little guide to someone that does and request them. Handmade ground beef patties, topped with sharp cheddar cheese, wrapped in a bacon weave. The next step, add hotdogs as the heads, legs with slits for toes and tail.   Next step. Place on an oven rack, covered loosely with foil and baked for 20-30 minutes at 400 degrees. A little crispy, not too crunchy...just how a turtle should be, no?

 

The Wednesday Funnies

This is an email submitted to Hello Rosie... from my friend Angel over at Daughter, Wife, Mother... Woman. Check her out, she is new to the bloggy world and needs your support.

As for the funny... enjoy! I've already used some of these as status updates on Facebook and in recent conversations. I may just add a page to the 'ole blog since I liked them so much.



PARAPROSDOKIANS

I had to look up "paraprosdokian". Here is the definition:
"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation."

"Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian.

Ok, so now enjoy!

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

19. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

21. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

22. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

24. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

The Wednesday Funnies

Gosh I'm late this morning. Probably because when I should have been typing my post last night I was in a Words With Friends battle with the hubby while watching TV. Both of us recently upgraded to iPhones and wireless in the house so now we have something else to waste time on.

Here is a little something we could all use when we are at home and get the call. I found this when I was playing around on http://www.stumbleupon.com/ and thought it was hilarious.

Hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday... and enjoy!



The National Do Not Call List

Apparently is now defunct and does not work ... nice try, US government.

You have to wonder about telemarkerters, don't you? Who applies for a job like this? What does the job description say? Probably something like this: "Minimum wage. People wanted who can't get work anywhere else. Must have the ability to take hours of verbal abuse and must enjoy annoying people."

Sounds like a perfect job for me ... ahhh ... if only the pay were better :-)

We just recently learned that some of the major "telemarketing phone banks" are being run from prisons. Bet it beats the hell out of more servile work, not to mention other things. So here's what we do when we get a "phone bank" call.

Option 1) We put the telemarketer on hold. Then we pick up that line as if someone else was waiting for us to get back to them and say "Sorry Ralph, I've got some idiot telemarketer on the other line. She'll probably hold for hours because it beats the hell out of banging out license plates or scrubbing Bubba's back in Cell Block 2".

Option 2) We get a telemarketer on the line. We say: "Are you a prisoner? If you are, you have to disclose it. Why on earth would I want to do business with someone who's already in jail? What are you in jail for?"

Option 3) If he or she says NO! I'm not a prisoner! We then ask if he or she is a member of a cult. We've also heard that people with many, many spouses have set up phone banks. Marry me for money? Those words are lost on the average idiot. They say yes.

If you can tell us about ways you've annoyed the hell out of telemarketers ... tell us. I figure if we band together, we can make it so nobody, not even prisoners, want to call us ...email

Hints from our readers appear below:

And here's from Norm who is not an idiot. He says the second mouse gets the cheese. Smart ... "Several years ago when the telemarketers for magazines were prolific, I had a call from one and said I was interested and couldn't talk now so I would like to call them back. They gave me their number. Later I called and found the manager's name was Dave. Then whenever anyone called me, I told them to call me in about an hour and ask for Dave which was the name I used there. I hope Dave got a lot of calls!"

A fun tip from Bob Johnson:
Have you ever gotten a telemarketer who immediately launches into this huge, rehearsed pitch? Instead of cutting him off/hanging up, let the poor bastard tell it all. Then hmmmmm and say, "Gee, that sounds really great! Actually, you know what, I don't actually live here, but let me get my friend Jim and you can tell him all about it!" Put someone else on and let the telemarketer repeat the whole thing again. Have Jim get his brother/father/son/sister/somebody else, and keep on repeating.
Here's a good one from Timothy W:
A really good and incredibly fun way to annoy those pesky telemarketers is.
you: Hello?
Telemarketer: hi is so and so there?
A at this point just start saying the word cactus say it in different tones of voice like inquisitively then angrily, its really fun. Once my brother had a conversation that went on like so:
bro: hello?
tele: hi is blah blah blah there?\
bro: CACTUS!!!
tele: excuse me ?
bro cactus...
tele: can I help you sir?
bro cactus?
tele: ya know they have medication for that now sir. Then they hung up it was soooooooo funny


One that works great from Keith C:
Telemarketer: Hi is Mr. So and so there?
Me: I’m sorry he’s in a meeting right now would you like to make an appointment?
Telemarketer: (usually they say no but sometimes not) Yes how about (insert whatever time)
Me: That will be just fine, may I have your credit card number?
Telemarketer: No, what for? (usually somewhat distressed)
Me: Well Mr. So and so’s time is very valuable and I must charge you for it, would you like to cancel you appointment in stead?
Telemarketer: Yes
Me: Ok that will be $50 may I have your credit card number please?
They usually hang up at this point
This does work great ... we tried it!

Here's from FirstChickOnMars: 1) you answer the phone and sound like you are intrested then you say hold on someone is at the door
2)put down phone and say "Hey Mike, what are you doing here? I thought I told you I never want to see you again" (make sure you say it loud it enough so the telemarkter can hear then)
say "Mike what is that... Mike put down the knife... this is crazy do you know what you are doing.... no.....
3)then just hang up and see what happens
Webmaster's note: We know what will happen. Nothing. Telemarkerters will just forget about your pain and dial the next number. They're total idiots, remember? You think they'd call 911? Ha! If they're stupid enough to do that, have the police arrest them for filing a false report .... :-)

Here's two ways I annoy telemarketers from Tasha;
1) me: "hello?"
telemarketer: "hello, i'm blah blah from the blah blah blah company...." (they yack on for hours)
me: "uhhh....no habla ingles, perdon!"
telemarketer: "oh...blah blah blah" (in spanish)
me: "no habla espanol! perdon! adios!" ***click***
2) me: "hello?"
telemarketer: "hello, i'm blah blah from the blah blah blah company...." (they yack on for hours)
me: (in a chinese accent) can i take or oda? (can i take your order)
telemarketer: (if they're still on the line) "excuse me?"
me: "you call chinese-house-of-chicken-chimmychanga to place oda, now place oda please" (said really fast)
~and just have fun after that and use your imagination~

This one hales from Attack Banana: 1. They usually fly right into a long-winded explanation of their product, so let them talk for a bit then start speaking in a foreign language (if you know one...if you don't make one up). 2. Keep an airhorn next to the phone...use it at the first sign of annoyance. If they stay on the line after having their ear blasted, tell them to give themselves a pat on the back for determination...then hang up. 3. Take a tape recorder and record one of your operator's error messages: "You must first dial a 0 or 1, please hang up and try again." ... "The number you have dialed is out of service" or some such message. When a telemarketer calls, play this message into your phone then see how long it takes them to hang up. Or just record your own message in a robotic voice and play that.

Webmaster's note: Now, we like those suggestions. If anyone knows where to purchase a device which makes a highly offensive sound which transmits only into the receiver, not affecting the victim of the call, do let us know. Something like fingernails on a blackboard would be nice.

Here's from the Digital Diva: To discourage a telemarketer from calling my house again.......When they ask for "Mr. or Mrs. so-and-so," I put my little sister on the phone and have her sing. Or, another thing you can do is to act extremely sad and depressed and cry "I'm sorry, they've just passed away, you cruel heartless, BASTARD!"

Here's from Alex D: When they answer tell them: “you know this is not really a good time… can I have your home phone number so I can get back to you later”
Now naturally they will say no (if they don’t, quick hang up) but if they say no you say: “what??!! You don’t like people you don’t know calling you up and annoying the hell out of you while your at home! WHELL NIETHER DO I !!!!”

What did I eat last night?

I don't know if it was the Diet Mt. Dew I had before I went to bed, or the huge bowl of spaghetti with cheesy garlic toast I had for dinner... but something triggered one of the strangest dreams I have had in my entire life. To the point that I woke up at 1 a.m. saying ... "Whaaaaaa???" Yeah, it was that messed up.

Of course I should have wrote it down, but here is a little taste of what happened. Usually I have nightmares or dreams that are so creepy they would scare Stephen King. For once... this was just stupid. Too stupid not to share.

It all started with a nice hair cut that I got. In real life I've been thinking about cutting my hair so short that I could maintain with a flowbee. If you don't know what that is, google it.

Anyhoo... Once I get the hair cut I enter this almost euphoric state you could say... I felt like I was high on all kinds of good stuff, kinda like I felt on the hamster feeder after I had kid #2 by Cesarean. And then all of the sudden I am at some disco club, for real with the mirrored ball and Earth Wind and Fire playing in the background.

I look over and I see my old neighbor sitting in the same green chair that sits in my living room. He's talking to the Black Eye Peas. Yeah... it's getting stupid at this point because they don't look anything like them. Actually they are all dressed up in the silly black and white costumes they wore on American Idol like 3 years ago.

Suddenly I am drawn to them. I go over and one of the guys in the band says "Lay down" ... so I did... and next thing happens... they start floating over me like ghost and singing... Boom Boom Pow. Not really sure how long this went on since it's a dream and all.

After the Boom Boom Pow episode I get up and my neighbor starts talking to me and fixing my hair... he is twisting my hair and putting Elmer's glue in it. At this point I've started to look like I have Snoop Dog hair and I take of screaming like a little girl.

and well.. then I woke up.

No more Diet Mt. Dew or spaghetti combo for dinner for me.

How Meridian Mississippi Saved My Life

Recently I asked around the bloggy world for guest postings and I begged and pleaded with a few of my favorite writers for a guest post. Well folks... I got one. The begging and pleading worked ;)

Check out Oilfield Trash over at Make Daddy A Sammich, I have really enjoyed reading his blog. He was my #10 follower and has been one of my favorite blogs to read over the last year. Many thanks to Oilfield Trash for entertaining the thought of posting on my blog. And as most of you know, I am from Meridian, MS so thanks for the little bit of redneck publicity. Peace out yo!

Enjoy!



How Meridian Mississippi Saved My Life

I often drive from Houston to Atlanta throughout the year to either take or pick up my kids from their grandparents (my ex in-laws) house in Atlanta. And sometimes I also stay up there with my kids. My ex in-laws are cool so it is no big deal for you closed minded people out there.

I normally take I-10 from Houston to Slidell Louisiana, and from there I turn north on I-59. I take I-59 all up through Mississippi into Alabama and stay on it till I reach northern Alabama past Birmingham and then I take back roads east into Georgia.

Now during the trip there or back I often stop at the same places for food and gas during my trip as I have gotten to know some of them over the years. In Lafayette I stop at a meat market for cracklings. In Slidell I stop at Star Bucks for coffee. Which brings me to Meridian Mississippi; I always stop and eat at the Chic-Fila in town at the shopping center right on I-59.

I stop there because the people are friendly, the food doesn’t upset my stomach, their bathroom is clean, and that part of town is decent, and it is easy to get on and off of the interstate.

On one of my trips to Atlanta a few years back, I stopped in Meridian as normal at the Chic-Fila for food. And after eating something told me to stop at this truck stop to get gas. So we went to this truck stop in Meridian for gas. While the gas was filling up I took the kids inside to get more drinks for the last 4 or so hours of the drive to their grandparent’s house.

While inside the truck stop, I had a premonition of some kind telling me that I needed to buy a radar detector (I speed when driving long distances on the interstates, but who doesn’t). So I had a look at what the truck stop had and decided on the one which was on sale for $25. It was cheap and it looked like it worked well.

So we headed back to the car and finished putting gas in the car and cleaned out some trash from the trip thus far. I took the radar detector out and put in on the windshield, plugged it in, and got back on the road heading north.

Shortly after leaving Meridian, you cross the state line and head into Alabama. As we crossed into Alabama I was in the right lane and there was a car next to me in the left lane. We were both doing about 85 mph at the time. This took place near the “Welcome to the inbred State Alabama” rest center.

It was at that moment that my radar detector light up like a Christmas tree and made sounds like the nuke warnings of the 1950’s. I immediately hit the brakes and slowed down to 65 mph. The car next to me did not slow down. I looked back in the rear view mirror and saw that a state trooper had pulled out with his lights and sirens on and was heading towards me.

I was nervous in the anticipation of being pulled over and getting a speeding ticket, but the cop didn’t pull me over. He instead went after the car that was next to me but did not slow down when I did as a result of my newly purchased radar detector.

And that is the story of how Meridian Mississippi saved my life. Ok Meridian didn’t really save my life, but it sure as hell saved me at least $200-500 in speeding ticket fines that is for sure.

___________________________

If anyone else is interested in doing a guest blog, here are the guidelines:

• You post can not have ever been published on the Internet
• You will (please) post about writing at Hello Rosie to draw in readers
• Please keep your post clean and sanitary for my readers... PG to PG-13, no porn or profanity

If you think this is something you might be interested in, please email me at hellorosie@rocketmail.com. I am looking for anything to be posted. Just keep in mind that Miss Rosie is a Republican and a Christian... so... try not to write anything that would say otherwise.

Finding New Friends - Week 15

It is Week 15 of Finding New Friends Weekend Blog Hop hosted by Shelly from My Saving Game and Jeannette from The Adventures of J-Man and MillerBug!

1. Please follow your hostesses My Saving Game and The Advetures of J-Man and MillerBug. Leave us a comment and we will follow you back! (If you already follow us on GFC, we'd LOVE it if you would follow us on Facebook or Twitter.)

2. Please follow our guest co-host who this week is Carol Anne from La Familia Aissa.

3. You don't have to post our button but we sure would like it if you did. Not only does it help our hop grow so we can all get new followers, but each week we will choose a guest co-host and to be considered you must have our button somewhere on your site! If you post our button and want to be considered for guest co-host, please email me at jmanandmillerbug@gmail.com to express your interest.

4. You can link up blogs, facebook, twitter accounts, whatever - just be sure to specify what each link is.

5. Hop around and find blogs that you enjoy. Be sure to tell them you are following them from Finding New Friends Weekend Blog Hop so they can follow you back!

6. Have fun!

Life isn't that simple...

It never fails... when you think something would be simple, it always turns out to be a major task at hand… in all areas of life.

Last night Buck and I took #1 and #2 over to a friend’s house to do a little vehicle maintenance that should have only taken 30 minutes, but ended up being a 2 hour job that still isn't finished. I really hate it for them, because since the easy fix didn't work, they are down a vehicle for the day.

On the bright side... my babies had the chance to play with their children who are such a blessing. She says they are wild, but I saw otherwise. These were the most well mannered and polite children I have ever met. She is a stay at home mom and I think, well I know... this has a lot to do with it. So while my wild #2 was running around the house like a heathen I was completely embarrassed. What exactly am I doing wrong? Why won't she mind me? Why does she talk back? I know it has a lot to do with her age but she is completely defiant.

#1 isn’t like that at all. She minds, most of the time. She says please and thank you. I think that maybe I was a little too hard on her to make her behave, and tried not to be such a tough mom with #2. I see now the error of my ways and maybe I should have been more firm with her? I really don’t know.

On the way home, #1 decided to throw a little pitty party since it was late and she was tired. We told her to be quiet and save it. She spoke up again and #2 screams out "Shut yo Mouf" ... yep. I know she got that from me, but really? Has it come to this. I had to push back my laughter since she was being flat out ugly to #1 but on the other hand it was still funny.... she's a little bossy. Wonder where she gets it from?

#2 has become quite comical with her blurts. I know she is just being her bossy self, but you can see her personality in full swing. Just like yesterday when she stuck her fingers in her ears and stuck out her tongue at me. It was cute… it was funny… but it was bad. If I laugh, she will do it again, but I can’t help it.

It isn’t simple to raise kids, fix trucks, or cook. It takes time and patience. Lots of practice. No one is perfect at it.

Pray for me… I will be bald when she gets in her teens because by then I will have pulled out all my hair.

Easter 2011

The Wednesday Funnies

Sorry I haven't been blogging much folks.. Happy Wednesday, you knew I wouldn't let you down.

Change A Lightbulb
How Many Church Members Does it Take to Change A Light Bulb?

Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish: What's a light bulb?

Ladies... why?

I've really just had enough of people being rude and ugly. I quit. I see it in my social life, I see it in my day at the office.I just don't understand why it is. I've had a recent encounter at work that really just set me off. I was calm, but seriously.... to even refer to yourself as one... all it does is put yourself down.

Just so no one goes and gets their feelings hurt... this is NO WAY directed towards anyone. It is a general view that I have about things I see from time to time on Facebook... not to mention the woman on the phone where I work that told me she was a b**** and I was going to listen to what she had to say.

Definition of BITCH
1: the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals
2a : a lewd or immoral woman b : a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman —sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse
3: something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant
4: complaint

Some women pride themselves on being a bitch. Saying things like: I'm one nasty bitch, I'm the head bitch, etc. Why? I used to call myself a bitch, I thought it was cool to be mean I guess. I would rather refer to myself as strong willed now with a little of opinionated thrown in. I don't want to be seen as malicious, spiteful, or overbearing. That really isn't how I want anyone to see me.

“The happiest people are those who think the most interesting thoughts. Those who decide to use leisure as a means of mental development, who love good music, good books, good pictures, good company, good conversation, are the happiest people in the world. And they are not only happy in themselves, they are the cause of happiness in others.” ~ William Lyon Phelps

I saw this quote and it made me think about how I want people to see me. I've done mean and spiteful things in my life and now... now I see that being bitter and "bitchy" really isn't a way to live. Always reach a hand out to help someone. Always take the time to make someone feel special. No matter who they are or what they have done. Evey one needs to feel accepted in life. We all need to have that approval rating, even if we say we don't. Even if we say "I'm a bitch, I don't need anyone".... we really do. It's no fun to spend your days alone with no one to hold your hand when you hurt. I love my husband, he is my best friend, but I don't see him all the time. I am thankful for my Shan and my Sue, they both are a rock in my life, and now I have a few new friendships and I truly believe these ladies... these women of God... these strong kind and loving women are friends that my God wants me to have.

“I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life. I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~ Maya Angelou