Today I took the giant leap forward into the rest of my life. I signed the papers.
Not exactly sure what I am feeling right now. Between the nausea and the anxiety, I can't describe it. Hell I can barely even type it. Just know that I think I will be ok.
I know time heals all wounds and at some point in time I will learn that this was for the best for both of us even though I really don't feel like it right now.
Can I say I'm scared to death?
I will update more Monday after he signs the papers to let you know how I feel.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Finding New Friends Weekend Blog Hop - Week 43
Welcome back to week 43 of Finding New Friends Weekend Blog Hop hosted by Shelly from My Saving Game, Sam from Have Sippy Will Travel and Jeannette from The Adventures of J-Man and MillerBug! Thank you all for helping make this hop so successful! We love you tons! Now what are you waiting for? Let’s get to hopping! We are finding some fabulous blogs through this hop and having a great time getting to know so many of you! So thank you for linking up again this week to those of you who are hop veterans and welcome to those who are new! Let’s continue to make new bloggy friends and increase our traffic! We do have a few simple rules for you – nothing too tough though. So here we go!
1. Please follow your hostesses My Saving Game, Have Sippy Will Travel and The Advetures of J-Man and MillerBug on one of our social media platforms.Leave us a comment and we will follow you back! (This includes Google +, Facebook or Twitter.)
2. Follow our Guest Host who this weeks is Nikki from Peace, Love and Purses.
3. You don’t have to post our button but we sure would like it if you did. Not only does it help our hop grow so we can all get new followers, but each week we will choose a guest co-host and to be considered you must have our button somewhere on your site! If you post our button and want to be considered for guest co-host, please email me at http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=1817464066393288406 to express your interest.
4. You can link up blogs, facebook, twitter accounts, whatever - just be sure to specify what each link is.
5. Hop around and find blogs that you enjoy. Be sure to tell them you are following them from Finding New Friends Weekend Blog Hop so they can follow you back!
6. Have fun!
Thursday, January 26, 2012
don't get on my last nerve... again
Small towns and rumors and drama...
yep...
living in a small town you get a little too close to people, closer than you really want to. I'm sure that if you live in a big city you really don't have to run into people or talk to anyone unless you really want to. But in a small town like this... you really can't help it.There are only a few places to really "go out" so you see the dreaded ex friend that wants to "talk" , or there is that one chick that no matter how far you go out of your way to be nice, she still has her nose in the air when your in the same group of people, classy. Meaning go out... like dinner or even for drinks. It doesn't matter... its everywhere....
I am a social person by nature. I love to get dressed up, get out of the house, dance and have a good time. Going through the divorce right now however I can't do that. Heck I can't even go to Wal-Mart without someone running their mouth that I was out partying it up... yeah, in Wal-Mart. I guess I should have gotten my picture taken for http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/ so that I could show off just how fancy I got dressed up to buy milk and tampons.
I freaking hate drama and right now my life is full of it. I mean when I say full its full. I'm hearing things about me that I didn't even know I did. Another reason I hate this small town, but alas with joint custody and the fact that I actually want my kids to see their father on a regular basis, I can't move. I know that regardless of where I live though there will always be some sort of drama.
The place I live is very click'ish. I know you only see clicks in high school, but honestly... Meridian, MS is just like high school, no matter what age you are. Maybe it's because everyone knows every ones business? I don't know, and at this point I really don't care.
Like I said earlier about going out... that is one reason the Hubs and I stayed home or would go to a friends house. There is this group over here and that group over there and its almost like you have to get approval from everyone in the group to be able to hang out. Seriously. You could know two or three people but if there is someone there that has been hanging around longer and they don't like you... hang it up. Sound familiar Meridian High School class of 1995...Isn't that a click? So if you don't meet the standards of all in the group or at least the "group leader" then there is drama to follow... I know we say we are too old for high school click drama but honestly... these are adults acting like children. If you don't like me, say so I don't need your approval. But even hanging out with a small group of friends there is always going to be that one person that has to keep the pot stirred up all the time no matter what is going on. Do people thrive on this shit or what?!?
Drama in a small town is ridiculous... there are so many rumors flying around about me it's not even funny. And most of the crap comes from when I was like 25 years old. Yep... just because I supposedly did it then (which I didn't) does NOT mean I'm going to do it now (never going to happen). Hint of advise for you young ladies out there... never take a job in a bar unless you are emotionally strong enough to let the rumors and drama roll off your back... just saying.
So really... my topics fall together... I just don't like rumors and drama and most of it comes from the fact that I live in a small town. So how do you avoid all that? You can't.. I've tried. We tried staying home, didn't work. We tried deleting facebook, that really didn't work either. Facebook is a world full of drama just saying and its like a black hole that sucks you in. Seriously stay away if you can... also known as Crackbook.
yep...
living in a small town you get a little too close to people, closer than you really want to. I'm sure that if you live in a big city you really don't have to run into people or talk to anyone unless you really want to. But in a small town like this... you really can't help it.There are only a few places to really "go out" so you see the dreaded ex friend that wants to "talk" , or there is that one chick that no matter how far you go out of your way to be nice, she still has her nose in the air when your in the same group of people, classy. Meaning go out... like dinner or even for drinks. It doesn't matter... its everywhere....
I am a social person by nature. I love to get dressed up, get out of the house, dance and have a good time. Going through the divorce right now however I can't do that. Heck I can't even go to Wal-Mart without someone running their mouth that I was out partying it up... yeah, in Wal-Mart. I guess I should have gotten my picture taken for http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/ so that I could show off just how fancy I got dressed up to buy milk and tampons.
I freaking hate drama and right now my life is full of it. I mean when I say full its full. I'm hearing things about me that I didn't even know I did. Another reason I hate this small town, but alas with joint custody and the fact that I actually want my kids to see their father on a regular basis, I can't move. I know that regardless of where I live though there will always be some sort of drama.
The place I live is very click'ish. I know you only see clicks in high school, but honestly... Meridian, MS is just like high school, no matter what age you are. Maybe it's because everyone knows every ones business? I don't know, and at this point I really don't care.
Like I said earlier about going out... that is one reason the Hubs and I stayed home or would go to a friends house. There is this group over here and that group over there and its almost like you have to get approval from everyone in the group to be able to hang out. Seriously. You could know two or three people but if there is someone there that has been hanging around longer and they don't like you... hang it up. Sound familiar Meridian High School class of 1995...Isn't that a click? So if you don't meet the standards of all in the group or at least the "group leader" then there is drama to follow... I know we say we are too old for high school click drama but honestly... these are adults acting like children. If you don't like me, say so I don't need your approval. But even hanging out with a small group of friends there is always going to be that one person that has to keep the pot stirred up all the time no matter what is going on. Do people thrive on this shit or what?!?
Drama in a small town is ridiculous... there are so many rumors flying around about me it's not even funny. And most of the crap comes from when I was like 25 years old. Yep... just because I supposedly did it then (which I didn't) does NOT mean I'm going to do it now (never going to happen). Hint of advise for you young ladies out there... never take a job in a bar unless you are emotionally strong enough to let the rumors and drama roll off your back... just saying.
So really... my topics fall together... I just don't like rumors and drama and most of it comes from the fact that I live in a small town. So how do you avoid all that? You can't.. I've tried. We tried staying home, didn't work. We tried deleting facebook, that really didn't work either. Facebook is a world full of drama just saying and its like a black hole that sucks you in. Seriously stay away if you can... also known as Crackbook.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
The Wednesday Funnies...
In light of the State of the Union address... here is something for you to use next year... Happy Wednesday Y'all!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Can I get a break?
It seems like literally everything in the last week has gone completely wrong in some form or fashion for me. With the constant divorce drama at home I don’t know which way to turn, right or wrong?
I had hoped that this divorce thing would go quickly now that we came to an agreement, but it seems as though it’s just getting worse. Now we are actually considering reconciling but to do that I’ve got to prove myself worthy… really? Either you want to be with me or not!
I really just don’t know what to do.
I love my husband completely and with all my heart. The last thing I envisioned when we got married is that eight years down the road we would be in this position. I didn’t get married to get a divorce. So I stand here begging him to reconsider and keep our family together, and he is brow beating me with a list of “done me wrongs” that I don’t have all the answers for. Yes, I screwed up… but you ain’t no Saint either honey. We both messed up and we both have to take responsibility for our actions. It almost kills me that he blames his faults all on me. I admit that I blame him for some of the things he has done wrong as well, but in all honesty… He did what he did because I didn’t do what I was supposed to do and the other way around.
What do I do?
I know that if I don’t give it a chance, if I don’t try I will always wonder “what it”, but on the other hand I don’t want to be back in the same position two or three years later down the road. I’m as confused as a bald man with a hair dryer. What am I doing? Are he and I ever going to reach a point if we reconcile that we will get to a point where we will get along? Will I ever stop having to prove myself to him? Will I stop feeling like he’s always hiding something from me? There are so many questions I have and I want the answers yesterday.
I had hoped that this divorce thing would go quickly now that we came to an agreement, but it seems as though it’s just getting worse. Now we are actually considering reconciling but to do that I’ve got to prove myself worthy… really? Either you want to be with me or not!
I really just don’t know what to do.
I love my husband completely and with all my heart. The last thing I envisioned when we got married is that eight years down the road we would be in this position. I didn’t get married to get a divorce. So I stand here begging him to reconsider and keep our family together, and he is brow beating me with a list of “done me wrongs” that I don’t have all the answers for. Yes, I screwed up… but you ain’t no Saint either honey. We both messed up and we both have to take responsibility for our actions. It almost kills me that he blames his faults all on me. I admit that I blame him for some of the things he has done wrong as well, but in all honesty… He did what he did because I didn’t do what I was supposed to do and the other way around.
What do I do?
I know that if I don’t give it a chance, if I don’t try I will always wonder “what it”, but on the other hand I don’t want to be back in the same position two or three years later down the road. I’m as confused as a bald man with a hair dryer. What am I doing? Are he and I ever going to reach a point if we reconcile that we will get to a point where we will get along? Will I ever stop having to prove myself to him? Will I stop feeling like he’s always hiding something from me? There are so many questions I have and I want the answers yesterday.
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