Day 4: something I have to forgive someone for

I forgive you for walking away from our friendship when I needed you the most. I'm still angry about your selfishness. But I still forgive you.  Because I'm the bigger person.  

Day 3: something I have to forgive myself for

Not saying I'm sorry soon enough

Day 2: Something I love about myself

What do I love?

It's also one of the things I hate as well. Not sure how that is possible but it is.

I love my giving nature. I love the fact that no matter how many times I have been hurt, how many times someone has stomped on my feelings... I always forgive, I always say I'm sorry first. I'll always move past it. I say that I have some hatred towards some people, but honestly.... if the were to call today, I'd still be there.

I won't turn my back on someone. Some people think I have before but I didn't. I was still there. I just wanted to know before I made my decision about how I felt about things. You could call me today and tell me you needed $20, if I have it, you can have it. Even if it is my last. I've been burnt by doing that, but in all honestly... I'd do it again without a thought.

I want people to be happy. It makes me happy to see that I helped bring joy or even relief to someone. I may not be able to give something to everyone, but if I can give them a piece of me... that's good enough.

Day 1: something I hate about myself

Honestly... I hate the fact that I am riddled with constant fear. 

I afraid of the dark, water, flying insects, falling, I'm claustrophobic, I'm afraid of my temper, my anxiety... the list goes on. 

The worst one that I've never admitted... I'm afraid to be alone. Not in the sense not having someone in my life.  I am literally afraid of staying alone.  I'm ok if my kids are here or asleep. I can sit up at night and watch tv by myself. I'm afraid to go places or be somewhere and not know someone.  I think that cell phones have helped me with that some because I know I can get in touch with someone immediately. I go places by myself. Not often.  I went to the movies recently and I was petrified to go and nearly had a panic attack. I think the hubby senses that it's unsettling.  Traveling to and from work doesn't bother me because I have a destination and it's a short trip.  However I just can't go somewhere like out of town by myself. It's horrifying.  So much that the thought of going on a work trip sends me spiraling.  What if something happens? It's the unknown that scares me the most.  

Yes it's an awful feeling to be afraid all of the time... I'm sure there are worse things that could happen.