Well, What I said was...

Hello friends...

Welcome to my new page. Not much has changed except the title and where you can find me in the world wide webs :) If you are current readers... please take the time to update your reading list, add me to your favorites, make me your home page blah blah blah. If you are not a current reader, I will either say welcome or call you stalker... give me a few minutes to make up my mind. Anyhow... It's something I had been thinking about doing for a while, decided that now was a good time. Other changes in my life, why not this as well. I hope you hang around.

~ Much love, Rosie

on to greater things...

So yeah, I wrote the letter to myself 20 years ago. I may just have to do that on milestone birthdays. Remind me when I turn 41 (which will NEVER happen) to do the "what not to do on your 21st birthday" letter. Yeah, that weekend was a total bomb. Never date a race car driver... and check the truck before you leave the track to make sure he isn't sneaking some skank home. Little bitter still? Yeah maybe.

Anyway... back to reality and 36. Ugh. New adventures that I am going on this year. YES!!! I said adventures.

I have broken out of my shell, I've started singing something other than in the shower, car, and Karaoke. Woo Hoo! I've branched out... real musicians. Go figure, there are people out there that actually get paid, not much, to play music and they want people to sing with them. Whoda thunk it...  At this point, it's all still in the works and all, but I'm trying. I may even write a song or two. Yeah, I'm kinda awesome like that, I can lay down the dope lyrics blah blah blah... haha! I really had too much coffee before I started writing this.

Another adventure... I've told you about my petrifying fear of water. I've been on a boat a few times, canoed, all that stuff. Once once at night, that still sucked, but I think it was who was in the boat with me and their LACK of consideration for that fact that I don't like water at night and big stuff in the water, wreckage and bridges, freak me the ____ out. Chances are I probably won't be in the fishing boat in the middle of the night again, but I'll try. However, I have been on a canoeing trip, going again this weekend with Kid #1 and Kid #1. Weekend before last I spent the day on the river... in a boat, going fast. Hehehe... I liked it. I'm feeling more confident in myself these days.

And last but not least... I am finally on my own, supporting myself, in my own home (rented or whatever). I stayed with my parents for too long. I love them, but I couldn't run around the house naked looking for shoes in the morning trying to get ready for work. I'm happy. I'm at peace. I can finally do what I want rather than what I need, within limits and all that. I own appliances... yeah, that's some pretty smexy stuff there. I have cable, I can set the AC on whatever I want, and I can even stay up however late I want. Within reason of course, we are all adults here. I keep beer in my fridge too. I'm totally living on the edge. Last but not least... I can freaking take up the whole bed if I want to, except when the cat and both the kids decide I have to share, and then I have to sleep on the edge. The only snoring that wakes me up... is mine. Awesome. I've been in my house a couple months now. Finally have it set up the way I want it. Yes I need a few things but that will take time. I'm still happy regardless.

Next up... my bucket list. Be looking for that in the days to come.

Dear, 16 year old me...

I’ve debated writing this letter to you for a while now. It’s just a few weeks past your 16^th birthday. That was a great party, and the promise ring he bought you is so pretty. I want to save you a little bit of stress, he really does love you so don’t walk away just yet. It’s not time. I know High School sucks. Keep it up, your doing a good job. Ignore those that pick on you because you aren’t as cool as they think you should be. It’s not worth the stress and pain you feel right now. You will grow into a beautiful woman, you’ll fill out. Eventually you will gain a little weight and not look so poor.

When you start school at East Central, give it all you’ve got. College isn’t a big party. Go to class, keep your grades up, graduate on time. Keep it up, go on to finish your degree… I know you think you can do it part time, but you’ll give up if you don’t go at it 100%. It’s so hard to go back after you’re grown. Don’t miss out on any opportunity to sing… Sing with your heart and soul. Be forgiving of others. Keep in touch with the girls from the dorm. You’ll wish you had them around in your 20’s.

When you turn 22 you’ll get a job working at the bar. You’ll make good money, but be careful… you have a tendency to drink too much. Don’t let alcohol ruin your life like we’ve seen it happen to others. Just don’t do it. Only go in there when you have to work. Spend more time with your family. Remember to cherish the girls that you work with, these are life long friendships. That guy you dated for a few years… don’t push it. He does care but he’s hurt too. You’ll learn a lot about life with him. He’s not the one for you though… When he lets you leave, and you will… do it on good terms.

At 27 you’ll decide to get married. You love him, he’s your best friend. I’d say don’t rush it, but if I did and you took more time, you wouldn’t have Katie and Samantha. Go to church more, spend more time with him, focus more on your family, if not… you’ll be divorced in 8 years. It’s not worth it. Divorce hurts, it will nearly kill you. Don’t get back in the bottle again. Don’t do it please. You’ll end up totaling out your new car and going broke. You can’t drown yourself in alcohol. It only numbs the pain, it won’t go away. Talk to someone about how you feel. Self medicating isn’t the answer.

You’re going to date a few guys after your divorce, a couple good one and quite a few bad ones. You made a lot of mistakes in your marriage, one of them was giving up too early, but don’t let the past stop you from moving forward. You are going to miss out on a few nice guys because you’re scared to get hurt, or worse… hurt them. Don’t push people away. Being single isn’t so bad. Being lonely is terrible. Have friends that you spend time with. You will have some amazing ones when you reach my age. You don’t need a man in your life to make you feel whole so don't feel like you have to date anyone unless you want to. Don’t settle for less than you deserve, and you my dear… deserve nothing but the best.

Dear, 16 year old me…

Keep a positive outlook. All the things you think are wrong with you are things that people told you that you had to believe. Don’t let anyone treat you like you are ordinary. You are an amazing woman. Remember that you are beautiful. Take chances. Don’t miss an opportunity to do something amazing.

And most important… don’t give up on love…